It's my pump and I'll cry if I want to

Morning blood sugar: Switching it up these days with a 4.8
Episodes of low blood sugar today: None today. Saturday however was a rough day with 3 (yes, 3) episodes including one doozy of a 2.9 that I didn't even really feel. My girlfriend Laura was over with her toddler for dinner. We were having pre-dinner snacks with a glass of wine when I tested simply so that I could cover my snacks. Maybe a delayed low from my 15km that morning? Maybe I took too much insulin as I was compensating after a Friday of super highs (tested an 11.1 at work in the afternoon-I guess Cliff bars remain the devil to a Diabetic even when you only eat 1/3 of one with your lunch).
C's mood today: I just put him to bed. The evening was full of tests (for both of us)-had to ask many times for him to sit down and finish his dinner, put his PJs on, stop jumping while I was trying to settle him down with bedtime books. Jeff and I picked him up from daycare this afternoon and our daycare provider told us "there was a lot of testing today', so it's a theme! :) On the bright side he was out cold when I left his room- I think' testing' and being tired go hand in hand.
Clean eating today: Hummus, veggies, rice crackers and a Vanilla Isagenix shake
Workout today: Cross Training day-35 minutes of interval training at 5am this morning before work-a combo of push ups, planks, squats, lunges, etc. Cross training and Strength training are extremely important to me to help me avoid injury while marathon training. I REALLY considered staying in bed this morning but after a 'talking to' with myself while sitting over the side of the bed, I am glad I got my workout done!

I cried yesterday and it wasn't pretty. Maybe I have been spending too much time with my 2 year old (if there is such a thing as too much time ;) and was modeling his behavior. My better theory is that I was the lethal combination of tired, hungry, and frustrated.
Imagine this-you have been up since 5 am, you completed a workout, a full 6 hours of giving your heart and soul to your clients as a health care professional, 2 hours of paperwork, picked up your two year old from daycare, wrestled together dinner, cleaned up dinner, greeted your husband returning from work after dinner, bathed your child and put him to bed , and finally you sit down to have a bedtime snack of Greek yogurt, berries and a handful of Kashi cereal. You calculate in your head the amount of carbohydrate you are about to consume and just as you are about to eat you pick up your remote for your insulin pump. You press a few buttons to get to the screen to enter your carb count and the remote keeps booting you out and won't allow you to take the insulin you need to eat your snack. Of course, you could eat the snack without the insulin, but if you do there is a high likelihood you will feel unwell and you certainly don't want to think about the other health implications that come with high blood sugar.
How did I handle this? At first I was frustrated and mad. I changed over to my new pump and pods yesterday and knew there was likely going to be some differences from the previous setup. I guess I knew this, but I wasn't prepared. I had meant to read the new user's manual, but between being a mom, work, marathon training, and the rest of my to do list, I just have not found the will or the want.
And the best time to read a User's manual is when you are looking through your own tears, am I right?
Jeff was lovely. Thank goodness for him. He came over to me, put his arms around me and just listened to me sob uncontrollably. I also shared a few choice words about my disease and where it could go. At one point, Jeff even tried to read the manual-he might as well have been trying to read Greek. Pumping is certainly user friendly but when you first learn Diabetic management it is somewhat like learning a new language. Hey, he tried, and I appreciate it.
In the end, I managed to figure out the pump (ie. I pressed a few buttons again and it seemed to sort itself out (?) and I enjoyed my snack. This was followed by an apparently much needed early bedtime and a few therapeutic snuggles from my husband and dog. Today was a new day (thank goodness!) and there was thankfully no crying. :)