Shut up and listen!

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Morning blood sugar: 5.6 (much better number, thank you!)

Episodes of low blood sugar today: none (thank goodness, woke twice this week with LBS, boo!)

“C's” mood today: pretty good, a little clingy these days. Wants to hug a lot, it is nice, but hard to get some very important things done like get dressed. :)

Donations this week: 4 (great friends and neighbours!)

Clean Eating today: Lunch was a spinach salad with almonds, feta, blueberries and dried cranberries. Delicious!

Workout: Rest day from running, I did 'Les Mills Combat 30' 30 minutes of kickboxing, heart-pumping , sweaty fun. :)

A client of mine once said to me “ I always feel listened to when I come to see you. You are a really good listener”. Her words were very kind. I guess the advice that I was given in University by one of my profs stuck with me. He said,”Listen to your clients. They will tell you what the problem is.” So apparently I do. This came in handy this week.

I have had a rough week, hence why I haven't written. I haven't been feeling great. I don't think it is the flu, but I have felt run down and a little queasy. I have also had lots of highs and lows. By highs, I mean not that high, but high enough to feel lousy, and by lows I mean 2 episodes of waking up with low blood sugar that left me feeling like a zombie for the better part of the day. This had me feeling pretty low mentally this week. I wasn't quite sure what to do about it. So I did what I have been told I do well, I listened.

1- A refreshing bit about mental health

Another client of mine that I have been treating recently for soft tissue injuries of his neck and back said something this week that really hit me. He likely doesn't think anything of his comment but I was listening. This client is big and tough and works as a tradesman. Due to his injuries and the fact that he sustained a concussion at the time of his accident, he hasn't been able to work for the last few months. When he came to see me this week, he was telling me about his last visit with his family doctor. As he was finishing up on the topic he said “and oh, she also said she wants to keep an eye on my mood, you know, to make sure we are on top of any depression that might be coming up.” What he and I both know is that the longer one sits at home with limiting injuries, the more likely they are to develop depression.

This comment was refreshing to me because this big tough guy, that probably doesn't talk about his feelings that much, brought up the topic of emotional health like it was no big deal. He could have just as easily said 'oh, and the doctor wants to keep an eye on that mole on my back', and the feeling in the room would have been the same.

Often people don't think of emotional health and physical health working together as one unit. I have to be honest, I have been so focused on training, and avoiding lows, I don't think I have really checked in with my emotional side lately. Maybe this is what this week was all about, it just took my big, tough patient to point it out. Refreshing.

2-She ain't heavy, she's my sister

At least I hope this is what my sister, Laurie, was thinking after I unloaded on her this week. What I mean is, my lovely sister, who is a busy mother of two, took the time to call me this week (she lives hundreds of miles away) and unfortunately all her baby sister did was complain. I complained about my low blood sugar, I complained about how I slept in (yes, I did!), I complained about how Jeff 'seemed mad' that I slept in (Laurie: “did he say he was mad?”, Amy: “well no, but it just seemed like it”), I complained about how I wanted to work out but Jeff wanted to eat breakfast with me (again, yes, all me), and I complained that I had already had my pre-workout snack, and that if I didn't exercise right then my insulin-carb ratio would be off and it would effect my blood sugar, etc,etc.

My sister has an education in Counselling. In fact, she is very educated, has three degrees on the wall, one of them a Masters of Education in Counselling. Jeff sometimes jokes about Laurie 'therapizing him”, he'll get off the phone and say “oh you know Laurie, she likes to analyze and ask a lot of questions.” I think Jeff secretly likes it, but I also think that sometimes Laurie is good at pointing things out that aren't always comfortable things for people to think about.

This week, she didn't ask a lot of questions, she listened (again, a theme here). After the carnage of my vent was finished, she sat back and said “you know Amy, you are probably still grieving.” Grieving what? I thought. “Think of what you just told me, all the organization you have to do. Working out is hard enough (bless her, working out is not her favourite activity) without having to plan out your snack, and your carbs, and everything. You are probably still grieving for your old life.”

Ahh, nothing like family, especially sisters. They know you so well sometimes it is almost creepy. Creepy, in a very comforting kind of way. If she had been standing next to me after she said those words, instead of in a house in frigid Winnipeg, Laurie would have seen a lightbulb come on in my eyes. 'Oh', I thought, 'she is so right.'

I have realized I can throw myself in to fundraising, and training, and being a mom, but the fact is I am still adjusting (hugely) to my new life as a diabetic. I try my best to stay positive, and keep my chin up, but this week was about feeling sad. I was sad because I was missing the way things use to be when I didn't count carbs at every meal, and wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety over having low blood sugar. I also realized this week that these emotional ups and downs are all part of the process. They don't mean that I am crazy, or that I am weak. They mean that I am a balanced individual with an emotional side and a physical side. Listening this week has helped me to check in with myself. I spend my weeks listening to a lot of people, and helping them. This week was a reminder to check in with myself, and listen. 

"Yes, I'm listening"

Cute kid alert: C giving James the train a kiss.