Episodes of low blood sugar today: none, thank you very much :)
C's mood today: good! I still can't believe we managed to go to Starbucks, buy coffee, go to the library and return books, pick out new books, and walk back to the car without a hint of a tantrum. I even drank my latte while C played with a few toys in the library. Mom nirvana!
Workout today: Tempo run-6km on the treadmill, 5 of which were basically torture, but hey I showed up.
Clean eating today: Making marinara sauce from scratch. The cookbook I have been using has been great-a loaner from the library geared toward parents. Although, not too sure about this recipe being "parent friendly''. According to the author, this recipe is from her husband's grandmother (born in Sicily in 1902) so it's gotta be good, but it also says "simmer for 2 1/2 hours and stir frequently. Gram stirred this every 10 minutes" Hella what? I will certainly not be stirring this every 10 minutes, hoping that is not a key to the sauce being good, or I'm in trouble. Hang on, gotta go stir....it smells wicked anyways, and considering it has 6 cloves of garlic in it (yes, 6!) I'm hoping it tastes as good as it smells.
I'm tired today! I had one of those wake ups (at 6:45am) when you think that the noises you hear from your child are only in your dreams, and that you can continue to sleep. Truthfully it felt like 2am when I woke up, not a very decent almost 7. I brought C back to bed with me-he likes to hide under the covers of our bed, and he played a bit (ok, I was jumped on a few times) while I let myself wake up slowly. I guess running 16km Sunday may have gotten to me a little bit (who woulda thought?) and I perhaps am still recovering.
As most parents know, when you are tired your mind can do cruel things to you. I dragged myself onto the treadmill this morning, as it was certainly Jeff's turn to go out for a run. I made it through my 6km tempo run-yes, I didn't really enjoy it at all, but once in a while you have those days where you really just need to grit your teeth and do the workout on your schedule even though you don't want to. I cursed myself a little for not quite hitting my pace ( I was close). I had a shower in a 'not clean to my standard' bathroom and proceeded to eat somewhat moldy bread for breakfast (not realizing it was moldy until I was digging in to my second slice).
A few hours after waking up I had already been bombarded with negative self-talk. Why didn't I feel rested? Why didn't I hit my pace? Why wasn't the dishwasher turned on last night? Why wasn't the bread fresh and not moldy? "Enough!" I told myself, "it is time to be nice." So I did what many mothers do to keep their sanity-I packed up my son, dropped the dog off for a doggie playdate at the neighbor's and I got the heck out of my 'messy for my standards' house.
I don't know why I have such a hard time being nice to myself. It is something I have always struggled with and has now gotten a little worse being a mother, a diabetic, and a runner. But I am trying my best to turn over a new leaf. First step-have a nap! The dishwasher needs to be emptied, and the toilet is still dirty but they can wait, I'm tired! One more stir and off to bed. :) It's the 'nice' thing to do.
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