Episodes of low blood sugar: 1 including the above....I seem to have rebounded after this with being a bit high before dinner at 7.5...utterly confusing as always, but still decent numbers.
"C's" mood today: very needy at dinner time; Jeff works late Wednesdays so I was on my own. See below for more details.
Donations today: Feeling a bit stressed about the campaign in the last few days..so I am going to decline comment tonight in the theme of this entry (cutting myself some slack).
Clean eating and workout today: Not a great day for clean eating, I slept late this morning so had a quick bagel for breakfast. Veggie stirfry and brown rice for dinner (which I didn't want but it was leftovers from last night which was a blessing considering my son's mood!). Completed 5km on the wonderfully rented treadmill...honestly I wanted to walk the last 2km but stuck it out. :)
So my day started well (minus the low blood sugar). I had a busy and productive day at work, came home for a workout and was feeling quite energized. Then 4:00 pm hit. Uggh. What is it about 4pm that makes me feel completely out of fuel, short on patience, and ready to put my pajamas on? I don't know, but if someone has an answer, and a solution to my lack of the above please fill me in, I would love to hear it.
4 pm also tends to be the time C has a crash in his mood. He loves daycare but I can tell it is very stimulating for him, and like me, by late afternoon he is running on empty. Which would explain why if you were a fly on the wall in my house at 5 pm you would have seen my son eating dried apple slices from the package and watching Toopy and Binoo (www.treehousetv.com) while I frantically tried to heat up leftovers. By the time I got C to the table, turned the TV off, put some nice music on, turned down the lights and sat down, C was pulling his bib off saying "all done" before I could even check my blood sugar. Sigh.
I was feeling pretty sorry for myself at this point, thinking on top of this "seriously, now I have to test my blood and count carbs alongside all this chaos?" I could have continued to wallow but I decided to take a deep breath, take C out of his chair, turn the TV back on, and pour myself a glass of wine. Yes, I cut myself some slack. This isn't always easy for me but I did it. I drank my wine and ate my dinner while watching 'Harry and his Bucketful of Dinosaurs'.
There is one bright side to being diagnosed as a Type 1 diabetic while raising a 1 year old; I haven't had much time to feel down in the dumps. Don't get me wrong, there have been some low moments but having a toddler that needs you at all times really makes you lift your chin and move on fairly quickly. It isn't surprising that rates of depression are very high among diabetics http://www.diabetes.ca/diabetes-and-you/living/complications/depression/. It is a disease that consumes a lot of your time if you are trying to manage it well, and this can be very overwhelming. But I have learned a lot about myself in the last 6 months as a diabetic, and I have learned even more about myself in the last 22 months of being a parent. Sometimes it isn't about being perfect-there is no such thing in parenting or diabetes management. Sometimes it is just about doing the best you can.
So tonight my best involved having a glass of wine and having the TV on during dinner. I cut myself some slack and C and I are better off for it. Cheers to imperfections! And cheers to my sleeping toddler in the next room! :)
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