Mind Games

Morning blood sugar: 5.4 a little low considering I preset my pump overnight for my run this morning-I guess I took too much insulin with my evening snack.

Episodes of low blood sugar today: none, it is 8:50 in the morning. Quite proud to say I started my run at 5.4 and finished at 5.3, pretty darn steady blood sugar!

C's mood today: love, love, love! Coming home to his smiling face and "Mommy" when I opened the door to come in after my run- I left when he was still sleeping. Nothing makes you forget your frustrations like a toddlers enthusiasm for life! :)

Workout today: just finished one soggy 23 km- Long slow distance run (ie. your pace is actually slower than your race pace to make your body adapt to long periods of time on your feet.

Clean eating today: i dreamt of what I would eat for breakfast for a good portion of the run- 1 piece of squirrelly bread with natural PB, 2 medium cooked eggs, half a grapefruit and huge cup of HOT coffee, yum! 

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

23km in the rain this morning. It wasn't suppose to rain but it rained the whole time. All 2 hours and 33 minutes. Thankfully just as I was starting the rain was a light drizzle- when I first woke up the rain was so heavy you could hear it on the roof. I thought about staying home  and leaving it to tomorrow, but on Vancouver Island, in March, there is no guarantee that tomorrow will be any less rainy. 

So what got me thru? A few things....

The feeling of disappointment if I didn't get it done: almost nothing outweighs the guilt (at least for me) of missing a scheduled workout. My body and my mind may feel a moment of relief when you give into your excuses, but that feeling of "I should have..." later= so not worth it!

Podcasts from iTunes: where would I be without podcasts?I listened to an hour and 20 minutes worth of inspirational podcasts  . Topics included 'getting organized', 'building relationships with others' and 'creating solid business relationships'- sounds a bit frou-frou I know but it really is good stuff and makes the time go faster when you are soaked and a little cold.

Music: into hour 2 I started listening to my playlist from Iceland. Some gems include Starships by Nicki Minaj (say what you want about her, she has some great songs to run to, and she swears with me while I am tackling he hills of Nanaimo!), Survivor by Christina Aguilera ( see blog entry entitled 'Happy Anniversary' from July 2013 for the story behind this song :)

Focusing on the mental strength today has given me: I am not gonna lie last night I was grumpy, tired and not looking forward to today. This training has been such a time commitment that I am starting to feel drained, but yet oh so close to race day. So instead of focusing on how mad I was about the rain, I focused my attention on the strength that it takes to get out in today's conditions. Marathon training has such a mental component to it; if today hasn't made me stronger, I don't know what will!

This is what 2 1/2 hours in the rain looks like. 

Wonder Woman was soggy too- but still smiling!

Turning 3 and 32 at 32

Morning blood sugar: 4.9
Episodes of low blood sugar today: none! I had a scare after lunch-I went to put on some 'nap time pants' so I could lay down with C for a quick rest and somehow accidentally dislodged my pod-cannula and all! Boo. So I had to change it immediately. Luckily it must have just come out because my blood sugar was still within range at 6.7. Phew! Could have been worse (if my pump gets dislodged my blood sugar can go sky high quite quickly as I only use fast acting insulin...so that's what I mean by 'could have been worse!') :)
C's mood today: He is 3 today! Can you believe it? I can't. What a lovely boy. I keep telling him "Happy Birthday!" and he keeps saying back "Yes! Happy Birthday you!" Doesn't quite get the concept I guess...but he has been wonderful all day. I don't know how Jeff and I got so lucky but C is one great kid! C is.....
      Sociable: he attends a small home-run daycare, the wonderful woman that runs it usually has 6-7 kids at a time, 2 of them being her own children. Two of the little girls that attend with C are super cute, and the three of them all love playing together. Last week I dropped C off-when we knocked on the door I could hear Lisa (who helps at the daycare when the owner has an appointment, etc.) say "Maybe it's C?!" to the two little girls. She opens the door and we hear the little girls chanting C's name. Lisa turns to me and says "C is kind of the mayor around here" Ha! My little politician/charmer. :)
     Loving: I love his spontaneous "Mommy I love you's" and "I need a smooch." Today I had some of my wonderful neighbors and their kids over for a play date-C knelt over to smooch my neighbors 2 month old. My heart melted. What a lovie!
     Brave: or tough, not sure how to describe it. I am pretty sure he fell off a stool this morning onto the tiled kitchen floor and just picked himself up like nothing happened. If he hurts himself, he usually just needs a quick smooch and he is off again. Thankfully and rarely does he scream if he hurts himself-at least in my eyes, he is one brave little dude.

I use to roll my eyes when people would tell me "enjoy every moment!". This was often said in the first year when I was busy trying to survive with no sleep and struggling to find my 'mothering identity'. I didn't get what they were saying at the time, and often found myself thinking "are these people really that out of touch? They liked sleeping in 2 hour increments and having a screaming infant while grocery shopping? You gotta be kidding me?" But lately, there ARE more enjoyable moments than not. I am not saying that there are no stand offs about eating vegetables or getting out the door on time (because believe me, there are LOTS of those), but C has become his own little person and I love him. I enjoy him!

Happy Birthday my love!

Three years ago-hard to believe. So much has changed...

32 at 32
A quick note about my (never ending) training. I did yet another distance this past weekend that I had never done before. I completed 32km. If you are wondering, this took me a whopping 3 hours and 40 minutes to compete-I think I did quite well at following my pace time, and even when I encountered my 85th hill (Nanaimo is one freakin' hilly city! So 85 might be an exaggeration....)I didn't feel defeated when I gave in and walked a little bit. I was so done with pushing myself up hills.

I think I made it to 28km before I had to walk a little-one time to eat (again), I was out of breath and didn't want to choke on my fig newton, and one time on hill 85. In all, I think I had to walk a total of about 6 minutes. Considering I ran almost 4 hours, that is really not too bad. But really, 32km is an insane distance. I am not sure at this stage, because anyone that has run a race and crossed a finish line knows that that finish line can be hugely addictive-but for now I think this full marathon gig might just be a one time shot. Is it empowering to go distances that I have never done before? Absolutely. Does it hurt to push that far? Yes, indeed. Is it a huge time commitment when you are a mother, work 4 days a week, and run a household? Uh-huh. Did I ever think I would run 32km as a Type 1 Diabetic at 32 years of age? No way. It is an amazing accomplishment none the less. Time will tell if I will ever want to this again. For now, I am savoring having accomplished that distance. Until this coming weekend anyway-a 'short' 23km is on the schedule. Wow, has my frame of reference changed already! Here is hoping I can stay healthy and make it to that finish line. :)

The last finish line-man, that feeling is addictive!

10 days down, a few more to go!

Morning blood sugar: 6.6 (no worries, it was up on purpose. I learned last week about having a preset on my pump for mornings I will be up early to work out. I want my insulin stream to be reduced about an hour before I exercise-so my pump was set to go down 1 hour before wake up. It worked well, I was up a bit but not up too high, just perfect!)
Episodes of low blood sugar today: None :)
C's mood today: That kid is full of energy. At 6:30pm Jeff and I counted him running laps around the living room-he completed 27 laps-mostly running full tilt. If you have never seen an almost 3 year old huffing and puffing and a little sweaty it is a must. Hilarious! And thank goodness he liked this game of us sitting and watching, as both Jeff and I had seriously run out of steam by this time of day.
Clean Eating today: I had an Isagenix shake for breakfast with a piece of sunflower toast, a salad with a hard boiled egg and whole grain crackers for lunch, and veggie chili for dinner (lots of beans, ground round, celery, mushrooms, tomatoes, spices-yum!)
Workout today: I'm not going to lie-I was tired this morning and was rushed to do an 8km tempo on the treadmill before work. The good news is, I completed a solid 35 minutes on the treadmill-not so good news, didn't exactly hit the distance I was suppose to. Hey, maybe that is what my body needed today?!

Just say no! For a few more days anyways. But who's counting?

It has been 10 days since I have had a glass of wine. Or any alcohol for that matter. After that anxiety-ridden, sleepless Saturday night of the dreaded Daylight Savings weekend, I made a pact with Jeff to rid alcohol from my system for 40 days. I really enjoy a glass (or two) of wine here and there, and really believe that I don't have a problem with alcohol. At the most, during a more stressful week, I would usually have 1 glass/night about 3 days per week and probably another 4 drinks over the weekend. Not a little, but not a lot. But I hate to admit it, I think it makes me sleep poorly, when I have to run the next day no amount of fluids can quench my incessant thirst, and because of the above two factors I am usually grumpy. Not a good combination for me or anyone that has to spend time with me.
I have been lucky so far though, it has been relatively easy. Easy because I have not had any social outings to go to, or family dinners. It will be tougher in the next week or so because I will be venturing out more, not because I need to drink, but simply because having a drink is a socially relaxing thing to do.
This weekend I have a few get outings planned so I am really hoping that I can stick to my guns and ride it out. I am sure I can say no, but the difficult part is not envying the people I am with for imbibing. Of course I want the people I am with to have a good time, and by no means do I want them to feel judged because I have decided to take this challenge; I am not judging at all. But you know how it is, it is tough to watch someone enjoy something, when you would kinda, sorta like to enjoy the same thing as well. If you don't know what I mean, ask a Diabetic, they'll know. In fact we are kind of experts in that department! ;p

Daylight savings drain

Morning blood sugar: 5.2
Episodes of low blood sugar today: None
C's mood today: We had such a great day! Wednesdays are my days as 'full time mom'- we went over this morning to meet the new baby on the block; my beautiful friend and neighbor had a baby boy February 1st and yes, it took me this long to get over for a visit. C was fab-he played quietly with toys while we had a nice visit with babe, mom, and a few other of my fabulous neighbors. The sun was shining this afternoon so we were out playing with the boys across the street. We are so lucky to live in such a great neighborhood, with so many kids! A couple of blips in the day include a stand off at bath time-C (and I) were tired, and the relentless response of "WHY?" to everything I ask of him. I run out of responses after a while and end up with the 'I never thought I would say this' "because I said so" I am officially a cliche! :)
Clean eating today: My husband was home all afternoon (yay!) due to a new and exciting change in his professional life (more on this some other time) and he made an awesome dinner of grilled snapper with lemon, quinoa, asparagus, and pickles ( I know, the pickles are kinda funny, but they are sooooo good and C loves them!)
Workout today: 10 km on the treadmill -this one was hard fought as I was out last night doing hills with a local running club and my legs felt oh so tired this morning, but I got it done! I was lucky enough to be asked to speak at my local Running Room last night on injury prevention-I had a great time speaking to a group of about 10 ladies that are training for their first 10km, a great and friendly group.

Is anyone else feeling this time change? I feel that I am still adjusting. The time change did not start well for me, I had the WORST sleep Saturday night. It was part getting over the last bit of a cold, part overly tired, part anxiety about the long run I had to miss Saturday due to torrential rain, and was, for whatever reason just dreading the next day. Oh, and maybe the 3 glasses of wine I consumed (1 at lunchtime with my parents and 2 with dinner)? All of the above lead to a 4 hour sleep and a feeling of utter exhaustion in the morning.
Thank goodness for husbands that say the right thing at the right time. As I woke and frantically tried to figure out how I was going to fit in 29km on a Sunday in a state of exhaustion, Jeff told me that "I didn't have to do it", that "missing 1 long run was not going to make our break my training", and that a training program is simply a "suggestion" and not the be all and end all. Thank goodness for his words because they convinced me to take the day off and simply rest. My body was screaming for a day off and I am better for it. Even though it was screaming, my mind obviously wasn't listening; sometimes it takes someone who knows you well to point out the obvious. Love you Jeff!

Who needs Hagen Daz?

Morning blood sugar: 4.9

Episodes of low blood sugar today: I should hope none (!) I just woke up

C's mood today: he is still sleeping but so far maybe a little grumpy (?). I set my alarm early so that I could have some quiet time to myself before the rest of the house is up (I swear if you have never done this, you should try it. It's hard to get up but glorious to have a quiet moment to yourself- particularly if you are a mom, and a mom to a non-stop toddler!). There is NO WAY he heard my alarm (I wake up to a vibrating and gently ringing iPhone) but after I turned my alarm off, C started crying. I went to see if he was ok and was promptly told "Go Back To Your Bed!!" Well then. Love him, but sometimes I wonder why he gets mad at me for making sure he is ok :) Stage of development I guess (?).

Clean Eating Today: does a preworkout Fig Newton, glass of 1% milk and half an Isagenix E shot count? Likely not. I struggle with pre workout snacks as I need some fast acting sugar to raise my blood sugar, but also don't want too much protein or fibre to upset my stomach so I usually end up eating something white. Not the greatest....

Workout: about to get changed to do an interval/hill workout on the treadmill- aiming to do 7 intervals with a 2 km warmup and 2 km cool down.

I have been nursing a cold for the past few days and last night finally started to feel better. I know it was a cold and not the flu (thank goodness) as my blood sugars did not go sky high in the last few days. My energy was LOW on Wednesday, the days I stay home with C. Thank goodness for a toddler who naps! Mom napped too, for hours. 

Does anyone else crave bad food when they aren't feeling well? I do, for sure. I was dreaming of ice cream to soothe my sore throat, so I came up with the following concoction:

Amy's Diabetic Ice Cream

1/2 a banana (fairly ripe, not green, but not black)

1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk

1scoop Isagenix chocolate shake mix ( or protein powder, if you don't have shake mix)

Directions: mix ingredients together in a blender and place in freezer for 1-2 hours. Enjoy!

Delicious-it soothed my sore throat and didn't leave me feeling guilty or sick! Yay! Who needs Hagen Daz?

A couple of new obsessions

Morning blood sugar: 9.8 (Horrible fasting blood sugar level, I know. I woke in the middle of the night feeling extremely hungry. I was half asleep at 1:30 am, but knew I should probably get up and eat something-I am not going to lie, my girlfriend came over for dinner last night and we indulged in some wine. If I have a few drinks, I can typically end up low in the morning, or sometimes in the middle of the night.  I was feeling annoyed and lazy in the wee morning hours so proceeded to drink a glass of chocolate milk AND not test my blood sugar. Not the best choice...and I see this now with my morning reading)
Episodes of low blood sugar today: 1 (here is the nature of the beast with my disease-because I was a 9.8 this morning, I took a correction dose of insulin. I reduced the correction calculation so I wouldn't go low while I did an hour of yoga this morning. Well, I guess my reduced correction was still too much insulin as by the time I was making my way up the stairs after yoga I was seeing spots and feeling uncoordinated. I even had trouble chewing my gummy candies due to my lack of coordination-but I managed it. Proceeded to feel lousy for a while after too, ugh)
C's Mood today: He is currently being lovely. This morning was a different story-he was 'sassing' like crazy. Example: Me: "C" would you like some water?" C: "I SAID! I wanted JUICE!!!"
Geez! Sassafrass indeed! We are trying our best to keep him in check and let him know that 'sassing' is not a very pleasant way to act-a work in progress.
Clean eating today: Just finished a fantastic power smoothie-with spinach and raspberries (see recipe below)
Workout today: 60 minutes of Power Yoga with Rodney Yee  A great workout but challenging (wine 'heavy head' and all). Due to the weather turning not so great the last 2 days, I made sure to schedule my long run  (19km) on Friday. Thank goodness I did, it is cold and rainy today-not the kind of weather I want to run 19km in!

Phew! So tired these days. What day is it? Where am I? The days are flying and I often feel like there are not enough hours in the day. It has been almost a month since I have written (a month! Where has the time gone!) With frenzied days like this, one of my top priorities is to keep up with clean eating-it keeps me as energized as possible. When I eat right I sleep better, and when I sleep better I can still manage to get all of my workouts in. It is always wonderful when I find recipes that are healthy, taste delicious, and in some way feel (almost) dessert-like. I wanted to share 2 of my new favs lately:

Perfect Overnight Oats
Ingredients:
  1/3 cup oats
 1/2-3/4 cup unsweetened almond milk
 1 tbsp plain greek yogurt
 1/2  mashed banana
  2 tsp chia seeds
 1 tsp. natural peanut butter
  1 scoop of vanilla or chocolate protein powder
  cinnamon
Directions- Mix it all up at nighttime and let it soak overnight! In the morning you end up with delicious rich oatmeal that you can eat cold or warm up quickly in the microwave (I usually nuke mine for 40 seconds and then add a splash of almond milk and a handful of blueberries)  You can change up with recipe with your favorite fruits, protein powders, etc! I got the basis of this recipe from Moon Fitness another blog site-she is a fitness competitor (which is a whole other level of clean eating/working out) and has some great ideas for clean eating. She has a GREAT overnight oats recipe using an almost empty jar of nut butter

Power Smoothie
3/4 unsweetened almond milk (as you can see, I use a lot of this, no carbs Mom, no carbs!)
large handful of fresh spinach
1/2 cup frozen raspberries
1 tbsp. hemp hearts
1 scoop of vanilla protein powder ( I use Kaizen Whey-no additives, no GMOs!)
1 tbsp plain greek yogurt
Directions: mix it all up in the blender and enjoy!

Hope you enjoy these as much as I do-and sorry if they don't really feel like dessert to you. My concept of dessert these days is very much skewed. But hey, if this recovering sweet tooth can be reformed, than believe me, so can anyone! :)

A chilly one!

Morning blood sugar: 4.8

Episodes of low blood sugar: one yesterday but none today! Did you know that a tall none fat Starbucks cappuccino has 9 grams of carbs and a tall non fat latte has 15? I ordered a cappuccino yesterday when I normally order a latte- I think this is where I faltered yesterday- a 3.8 just before lunch :(

C's mood today: pretty good, I am not going to lie there has been some sass, a manageable amount. He basically had gold fish crackers for lunch as he refused to eat the delicious homemade soup my Mom made (yes! Homemade and he wouldn't eat it! I was mildly embarrassed as his mom, and he slid down slightly in the 'perfect grandchild'department, but hey what can you do?!)

Clean eating today: one of my fav breakfasts- 1/3 cup old fashioned oats, scoop of chocolate protein powder, a handful of raspberries, a tsp of PB and a splash almond milk with a sprinkle of Splenda. Yum, I want more!

Workout today: 19 km completed at 9:30 am in Qualicum Beach, where my parents are lucky enough to live. It was so nice to "sleep in" until 6:25am this morning. No 4:50 am wake up for me!

It is "cold" outside lately. I preface the cold with "quotations" as my Prairie kin and friends will likely have a good chortle when I tell them the low today is -6 degrees C. Haha, chortle it up. As a Prairie girl turned West Coaster I can tell you wholeheartedly that it's a "damp cold" which is a real thing. When my in -laws come to visit in the summer they make comments like " oh, it doesn't feel like 22 degrees, it feels colder". I'm not sure if this stems from the Prairie folks need to be mildly insulting to us who now live in Canada's version of 'paradise'or whether they truly feel "cold"when the thermometer reads 22 degrees, but I can tell you in the winter time, from my perspective,sometimes -6 really does feel more like -10 or -12. It's real, let me tell you.

So considering the above, I have to say I was dreading today's long run. But I'm going to use another phrase that us Prairie folk live and die by- "yes it's cold, but at least it is sunny!" This is absolutely how I felt today while finishing my 19 km- the sun was shining, the ocean was gorgeous and it was definitely a day that I was pinching myself. I still can't believe sometimes that I live out here! 

A special thank you to my parents for babysitting the loves of my life ( son and dog) and to the Songza app on my phone for an amazing playlist (Paula Abdul, whaaaat?! Amazing!). Honourable mention also to the Fig Newtons that powered me through ( I am trying something new with my 'during the run' nutrition as the sugar in fuzzy peaches and other chews have been upsetting the tumtum).

Layering! Top layer....

Zipper is stuck- 2nd layer

There it is!

Third layer! 

4th layer! C is admiring the sweaty mess that is his mother!

Happy to report the Fig Newtons worked- home with a 5.4, probably could have had another cookie!

The view from kilometre 9- had to stop for a photo. So beautiful! Eat your heart out Prairie folk- you are welcome to visit anytime! Xo

It's my pump and I'll cry if I want to

Morning blood sugar: Switching it up these days with a 4.8
Episodes of low blood sugar today: None today. Saturday however was a rough day with 3 (yes, 3) episodes including one doozy of a 2.9 that I didn't even really feel. My girlfriend Laura was over with her toddler for dinner. We were having pre-dinner snacks with a glass of wine when I tested simply so that I could cover my snacks. Maybe a delayed low from my 15km that morning? Maybe I took too much insulin as I was compensating after a Friday of super highs (tested an 11.1 at work in the afternoon-I guess Cliff bars remain the devil to a Diabetic even when you only eat 1/3 of one with your lunch).
C's mood today: I just put him to bed. The evening was full of tests (for both of us)-had to ask many times for him to sit down and finish his dinner, put his PJs on, stop jumping while I was trying to settle him down with bedtime books. Jeff and I picked him up from daycare this afternoon and our daycare provider told us "there was a lot of testing today', so it's a theme! :) On the bright side he was out cold when I left his room- I think' testing' and being tired go hand in hand.
Clean eating today: Hummus, veggies, rice crackers and a Vanilla Isagenix shake
Workout today: Cross Training day-35 minutes of interval training at 5am this morning before work-a combo of push ups, planks, squats, lunges, etc. Cross training and Strength training are extremely important to me to help me avoid injury while marathon training. I REALLY considered staying in bed this morning but after a 'talking to' with myself while sitting over the side of the bed, I am glad I got my workout done!

I cried yesterday and it wasn't pretty. Maybe I have been spending too much time with my 2 year old (if there is such a thing as too much time ;) and was modeling his behavior. My better theory is that I was the lethal combination of tired, hungry, and frustrated.
Imagine this-you have been up since 5 am, you completed a workout, a full 6 hours of giving your heart and soul to your clients as a health care professional, 2 hours of paperwork, picked up your two year old from daycare, wrestled together dinner, cleaned up dinner, greeted your husband returning from work after dinner, bathed your child and put him to bed , and finally you sit down to have a bedtime snack of Greek yogurt, berries and a handful of Kashi cereal. You calculate in your head the amount of carbohydrate you are about to consume and just as you are about to eat you pick up your remote for your insulin pump. You press a few buttons to get to the screen to enter your carb count and the remote keeps booting you out and won't allow you to take the insulin you need to eat your snack. Of course, you could eat the snack without the insulin, but if you do there is a high likelihood you will feel unwell and you certainly don't want to think about the other health implications that come with high blood sugar.
How did I handle this? At first I was frustrated and mad. I changed over to my new pump and pods yesterday and knew there was likely going to be some differences from the previous setup. I guess I knew this, but I wasn't prepared. I had meant to read the new user's manual, but between being a mom, work, marathon training, and the rest of my to do list, I just have not found the will or the want.
And the best time to read a User's manual is when you are looking through your own tears, am I right?
Jeff was lovely. Thank goodness for him. He came over to me, put his arms around me and just listened to me sob uncontrollably. I also shared a few choice words about my disease and where it could go. At one point, Jeff even tried to read the manual-he might as well have been trying to read Greek. Pumping is certainly user friendly but when you first learn Diabetic management it is somewhat like learning a new language. Hey, he tried, and I appreciate it.
In the end, I managed to figure out the pump (ie. I pressed a few buttons again and it seemed to sort itself out (?) and I enjoyed my snack. This was followed by an apparently much needed early bedtime and a few therapeutic snuggles from my husband and dog. Today was a new day (thank goodness!) and there was thankfully no crying. :)

Nutmeg with a side of nutmeg

Morning blood sugar: holding steady at 5.3

Episodes of low blood sugar today: none

C's mood today: moments of sass with moments of sharing and kindness- a manageable balance

Clean eating today: oatmeal with protein powder, 1 tsp. natural PB, some almond milk and black coffee. For more info on my dinner tonight keep reading...

Workout today: 10 km on the treadmill 

Tonight I was on dinner duty. It is Wednesday, which means it has now been a good 4 days since I have set foot in the grocery store. When you attempt to 'eat clean' this time of the week is when you often start to run low on a number of fresh options in the fridge. I am really trying to become good at using up and eating what I buy 1- because groceries are hella expensive these days and 2- going to the grocery store more than once a week with your two year old is simply something to be avoided if you can; it can be stressful to go to the store, and also I would much rather spend time with my son at the park and not sweating it out in the grocery store.

I had a great plan for dinner- I was going to make a dinner of mini quiche with the imitation crab and phyllo pastry I had in the freezer and the spinach I had in the fridge that was on the verge of going soggy.

All was going well.I got the pastry cut and placed in muffin tins, the spinach and crab were on the stovetop with onions and olive oil. I go to shake a sprinkle of nutmeg into the spinach mixture and the wholly top on the spice jar comes off and with it 2 tablespoons of nutmeg into my crab and spinach! I try to scrape out what I can but a lot has fallen in between pieces of spinach. I press on hoping that maybe a lot of nutmeg will taste good? I even think "maybe this will be a great discovery! Maybe a ton of nutmeg will taste delicious?" 

Wrong. Bitter and horrible. My husband, who rarely complains ( because let's face it, I'm a type A who rarely strays from a recipe) likens the meal to reminding him of diesel fuel (? In taste or smell? I'm hoping in smell!). I don't consider myself too picky either but the taste was so strong I threw out my 'planned'leftovers (Jeff insisted he would eat his. He is being kind, and I certainly won't be insulted if I find a receipt for a bought lunch tomorrow with his things). Nutmeg with a side of nutmeg anyone? I'll pass! Hmmph!

They don't look bad but this is deceiving!! This dish should be called "Nutmeg overload"

A Diabetic's Dream-Homemade Protein Bars

Morning blood sugar: 5.3 :)
Episodes of low blood sugar today: None :)
C's mood today: He remains a lovely boy but is really 'testing' the bedtime thing these days. Some days (like last night) it is fairly easy, sometimes it is tough. Jeff and I have tried a lot of things-we lie down with him, we read an extra book, we give lots of warnings "in five minutes, we will turn out the light..." Tonight was tough because it ended with him crying and asking us to stay, even though it was way past when he should have been asleep. This was after we gave him lots of chances to settle down....so the long and the short of it is, we left him to go to sleep on his own, which meant some crying and calling for "Mommy!" and "Daddy'' Rip my heart out and stomp on it? Yes please.
Clean Eating today: Jeff was very nice and made dinner. In fact he made dinner for himself, C and myself, and my parents who I picked up from the local airport just before dinnertime; they were away visiting my sister and her family. He made baked chicken drumsticks (marinated in some olive oil, spices and BBQ sauce), brown rice, veggies, and I made a salad for the side. Jeff gets sick of salad, which I understand, I eat it a lot-it fills me up and is awesome for blood sugar! But I am a bit obsessed with having lots of veggies these days-so I wasn't going to ask him to make me a salad on top of what he had already made. :) Everything was delicious!
Workout today: 6km Tempo run on the treadmill first thing this morning.

I'm posting a recipe today for all to enjoy. One of the things I absolutely love to make these days are homemade protein bars. Prior to my diagnosis, I use to eat a lot of store bought protein bars-they certainly keep you satisfied more than say a regular granola bar (due to the nice balance of carbs and protein) but unfortunately, even though a lot of them are 'not that bad' in the carb count department they are carb bombs disguised in wolfs' clothing (if you know what I mean)-not the best for blood sugar. They tend to put me up, which was initially so frustrating. So, glad to say I have found a great alternative!

No Bake Chocolate Coconut Protein Bars
originally in Oxygen Magazine-modified by yours truly :)

2 cups large flake oats
4 scoops vanilla or chocolate protein powder (I use high quality New Zealand whey for it's known limitation of additives and other nasties)
1 1/2 Tbsps cocoa powder
1/4 coconut oil, melted
3/4 cup fresh shredded unsweetened coconut 
1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk
2 Tbsps mini chocolate chips (2 Tbsps go a long way! At least when you are Diabetic :)
1/4 cup dried cranberries

Mix all ingredients together. If sticky, you can add more oats or coconut. Place paper muffin liners into 9 muffin cups-take approx. 1/3 cup per bar and squish (yes, that's a technical term) into each liner, attempting to make 9 equal bars (don't worry, some will end up a bit smaller, some a bit bigger. Nobody's perfect!). Place in the freezer and set for 15 minutes. Once set, wrap liner and bar in plastic wrap and store in the fridge to grab and go! Because who doesn't need some convenience in their lives??!!
Hope you love them as much as I do. They truly are a Diabetic's dream-a great snack or sweet treat when you are in need, without the junk and nasty high blood sugar that frankly nobody wants!

New Pods, New technology!

Morning blood sugar: 5.3- the winning streak continues! :)

Episodes of low blood sugar today: zip, nada. Another win- I like to win :)

C's mood today: I only got to see him this morning for a quick hug and smooch before heading to work. He slep great though! Until 6:55. Win, win! I am on my way to pick him up shortly.

Clean eating today: lunch was a mixed salad with a 1/2 cup of quinoa and a sprinkle of goat cheese with balsamic dressing. Dessert was a small homemade protein bar with coconut and dried cranberries. So good!

Workout today: a 5 am wake up again with an old workout from my fitness challenge this past December called 'quadruple the fun' 40 minutes of intervals consisting of upper and lower body strength exercises with burpees mixed in. Finished in time for a shower and my first client at 7:20am.

I'm excited today- new pods arrived for my insulin management system. They are something like 30% smaller than what I am currently wearing. The crazy thing is they also sent me a new remote for my pump as well ( also known as a PDM). I guess the new pods require a new remote with new technology. Amazing what these little things can do- they provide a steady stream of baseline insulin (basal rate) and a larger amount for when I am eating (a Bolus that it calculates according to the grams of carbohydrate I am consuming). Yay for technology! Yay to Omnipod for striving for smaller pods- making my disease a little less noticeable to me. Feeling very blessed and fortunate to have access to such a great system, a system that makes me feel more like my old non- diabetic self. I wish every diabetic could access this!

The first picture shows the new pods on the right. They are not as long and not as wide. This day is full of wins! Happy Monday everybody- hope your day is full of wins as well!

 

Namastes & Nachos

Morning blood sugar: 5.4 (Capital P-perfect! The ideal waking blood sugar is between 4.6-5.6. The Type A in me is all proud when I am within range, when in reality I am quite aware sometimes you can do everything right and still have weird numbers. Anyhoo, I'll relish my 'perfect score' anyways :)
Episodes of Low Blood Sugar today: None! Hooray :)
C's Mood today: Good. Napping currently :)
Clean Eating today: Protein Pancakes for breakfast with berries and a latte. It's Conference Championship day today in the NFL so we had a fun lunch of 'Healthy Nachos'. I know what you are thinking, how are nachos healthy? Or how can you make them healthy for that matter? Well, I tried my best and used blue corn organic chips, low fat cheese (easy on the cheese! Even though it is so yummy!), lots of veggies including bell peppers, black olives, tomatoes, and we used Yves Ground Round instead of ground beef. For toppings-spicy salsa. So good!  For a beverage I had lots of water and (gulp!) a beer. A treat for sure!
Workout today: A rest day from running, so Jeff and I did 1 hour of Power Yoga with Rodney Yee.

I have a new found love in my training routine: Regular Yoga. I know there are Marathon training programs out there that have you running 5-6 days per week, but for me that simply doesn't work for my body. My joints need a break and I need some time to work on strength and flexibility. I got the idea to incorporate more Yoga into my training from my lovely co-worker, Megan. She finished her first FULL marathon last October. At the time she was training for her race, I was training for Iceland. We would often compare notes on the workouts we had completed, or were going to complete, and I noticed sometimes if she was tired, or just in need of a break from the grind of running, she would say to me, "I'm not doing that today, I'm going to Yoga." She finished her race in a great time, and more importantly felt great during her race, so it is my hope that more Yoga will do the same for me. Here's hoping Megan is on to something, right? It's worked before so why not?

I know it is not quite the same, doing a Yoga DVD at home versus going to a class. In fact when C was a newborn, the few outings I got take solo often included a Yoga class, which was fabulously therapeutic in that post-partum period. Currently, it just works better for me to workout at home-Yoga sessions included. So these days I usually practice Yoga, as I did this morning, with PBS kids playing in the background. Jeff and I followed Rodney, while C watched 'Peg plus Cat' and 'Dinosaur Train'. It works for us, and it felt great. Namaste.

Trying to get both kid and dog in a picture. Just breathe.

Furry baby with C in his superhero PJs in the background

Not every husband can do this, am I right? :)

Crossing to the dark side

Morning blood sugar: 4.1 (cutting it close-changed my pod moments before bed, but this close call is more likely due to my 6.5km speedworkout earlier in the day, on Friday)
Episodes of Low Blood Sugar today: I can't be totally certain, because I didn't pull out my blood glucose monitor in the middle of the grocery store, but as I was putting my groceries onto the belt at the checkout my head started to feel like it weighed 100 lbs. And the world was spinning a bit, like when you have one too many glasses of wine. This was happening at the 'dicey' time of grocery shopping, as every parent knows- THE CHECKOUT. Typically by this point in your shopping your kid has had enough of sitting in the cart, it is lunch time, you are both hungry, and you are trying to keep them occupied. Truth: I had the cashier scan a bag of 'Goldfish crackers' and ripped them open for C while I took 2 Glucose tabs (ie. chalk disguised with fast acting sugar in them) so that I didn't pass out before I could pull out my Visa. After eating the tablets and downing half of the top of the ginormous muffin I had purchased for C and I for a 'Saturday treat' I measured a 6.4 back at the car. Phew.
C's mood today: Pretty fabulous. Took him to the park, he helped clean the bathrooms at home (he likes the spray bottle I have for vinegar, what can I say? And kids need to learn to clean, right? A teaching activity right there. Haha. No meltdowns today. There has definitely been 'testing' as in, it took 3 extra slides to get him to leave the park, and some bribes with snacks (see above) but overall a successful day with my 'almost 3' year old. Woot woot.
Workout Today: 16 km Long Slow Distance Run-at the crack of dawn this morning. Yawn!
Clean Eating Menu Today:Well if you read the above you will know I indulged in a huge, store- bought muffin for lunch-a carb bomb in many ways. I ate only the 'muffin top' as this thing was seriously huge. It was a "West Coast Trail Muffin" so it had some good things in it like nuts, pumpkin seeds, and grated carrot. I can't say that it didn't taste like an indulgence, because it sure did. There was certainly some 'white crack' in it (ie. Sugar)- ok lots of white crack. And this presented itself afterwards with a feeling of wooziness and heartburn. Ugh-treats use to be fun. Now my body is a well oiled machine. It's like putting regular gas in your fancy sports car instead of premium-just shouldn't be done. :( On a positive note: breakfast was a recovery Vanilla Isagenix shake, a piece of whole grain toast with 1 tsp natural PB, and half a sliced banana, 1/2 a grapefruit with some coffee straight from my wonderful Lime Green Bodum/French Press that my husband bought me for Christmas. Delicious! And I didn't feel sick after.

I can't believe it has been over a month since my last entry. Man life is busy and going by fast. I am trying to take a page from my beautiful friend Allison. She recently got her own blog up and running and I thoroughly enjoy it; she is expecting her first babe any day now, in fact, she might be in labor as I write this! Good luck AB! Anyways, sometimes her entries are long, sometimes they are just a simple picture. Either way-I like following it and look forward to more of it. So I have decided I need to post more-even if it just a picture or recipe or quote. I miss writing when I don't do it, but sometimes an entry feels overwhelming before I have begun.

It's official, I have crossed over to the dark side. This is for 2 reasons:
1) I am currently training for my first full marathon
I am registered and attempting to complete the Vancouver Marathon This is mileage (kilometerage?) like I have never seen before-it is week 3 of training and my weekly mileage is already at 38km. Wow. No wonder they call it 'the dark side'. Jeff and I discussed me signing up a while ago. Sometime during this discussion I told him about marathons and ultramarathons held in extreme climates-there is one marathon that is in fact run through Churchill, Manitoba, where the article I read about it stated runners 'have to be vigilant for roaming polar bears' (!!!!!????). After telling Jeff about this I recall saying "who would be crazy enough to want to do that?" To which my husband said "I think you have to be a little crazy to want to do a FULL marathon". Yup, that's me. C-R-A-Z-Y
2) I think I am now officially a morning person now.
I was up this morning at 4:50am. The dog got me up, she needed to use the 'facilities'. But truthfully my alarm was set for 4:55am. I have been trying to do my long runs on Saturday morning before my husband goes to work. One reason being, it is nice to get it done and the second reason being to not have it interfere with our weekend as a family. I do realize this is absolutely extreme. The weird thing is I heard the dog at 4:50am and I woke feeling well rested and alert. Who am I? As a teenager my mom and sister hated waking me in the morning before school because I was a serious bear. The family dog would eventually be sent in-I guess I would taper my wrath for something with a furry body and cold nose. :) You know you are on the dark side when even telling people you were up at 4:50am seems like a ludicrous thing to tell people. Yup, it's official. The crazier thing is, that when I am up early I feel amazing!

This was me this morning! Haha not really, but kinda

The old me. :)

A Diabetic Christmas

Morning blood sugar: 6.1
Episodes of low blood sugar today: none
C's mood today: Good. No melt downs. I, being home today, thought I would try and stimulate his mind with some crafts instead of TV. I thought we could make some of those snowflake cut outs together; I would cut, and he would color/paint them. Well it turns out, he was more interested in the "let's see how much paint I can load onto my paintbrush and then dunk all of the brushes into the small water container" game (meant for rinsing the brushes). I guess he was experimenting and using his creative side-so still a win in my books. And, no major messes to clean up either-nothing spilled, no faces or clothes ended up with paint on them, so add a W to my record please.
Workout today: 5km outside! Yes, outside! The weather has finally started to warm up here, and it wasn't raining or snowing, so I jumped at the opportunity to drag a Beagle and push a 32lb- 2 1/2 year old in a stroller (I know, call me crazy, but we all had cabin fever). We all got fresh air, dog and I got exercise, and C even got out for a bit to run himself. Another W please. :)
Clean eating today: Breakfast was 1/3 cup oats, scoop of protein powder, 1 tsp natural pb, and a handful of raspberries and blueberries (yes, I buy berries at this time of year. It's a splurge but so worth it. Berries are awesome on blood sugar, and C and I LOVE THEM!). See entry below for what I indulged in as a 'dessert' after my lunch this afternoon (...and on Monday and Tuesday evening!) :)

Eating the right foods on a regular basis can be a challenge at most times. At this time of year, not just for Diabetics, but for everyone, it can be almost impossible. I seriously believe that over the years I have been conditioned to associate December with eating cookies and eating 'not so great food', because I have been craving it lately. Which is weird, considering I thought I had freed myself from the 'white crack' (read: sugar) and the 'yellow crack' (read: grease).

So far, other than making a traditional Icelandic Christmas cake (Vinarterta) with my mom , I have avoided Christmas baking like the plague. Don't get me wrong, I have had moments after dinner in the last two weeks where I have caught myself dreaming of grabbing a handful of shortbread cookies and downing them with a large glass of milk, but I have yet to do so. 1 reason being that I don't have any shortbread in the house (this is a good thing). The second reason being I would likely only feel sick if said dream became reality, and would have to endure 'the guilt' of having sky high blood sugar right before bed. No thank you. A girl can dream though, no?

Another major reason why I have yet to bake and indulge is that I am 11 weeks into a 12 week fitness challenge. This challenge is called 'The Fit to the Core Challenge"and is run by a local husband and wife from Nanaimo. Check out there website here. It has been a fabulous 11 weeks-full of new workouts, nutrition advice, and also some advice on emotional well being, which I feel is so important (ie. staying positive, surrounding yourself with supportive people, etc, etc.). This challenge has kept me on track physically, emotionally, and nutritionally as well; it has provided me with a schedule (I like schedules), and guidelines (I like guidelines) to follow. What more could a Type A girl ask for??

That is not to say I have not had my slip ups in the last 11 weeks. Holiday parties are a tough one. One of my fabulous girlfriends invited me to be her 'plus 1' last Saturday to her staff Christmas party. I use to work with her at the same company, so I knew I would have a good time catching up with old co-workers, enjoying some food and drinks, and getting out of the house on a Saturday night (no offense C, mama needed a night out!)

I had a great time! I did the best I could with eating- my girlfriend had warned me that the party was just appetizers and drinks so I made sure that both of us had some healthy snacks before we left (read: veggies and hummus, nuts, and a small serving each of homemade chili). I indulged in a few appetizers at the party (what do you mean sausage rolls and greasy crab cakes aren't health food?) and a few glasses of wine (read: too many glasses of wine).

I'll sign off with a couple of gems that I have discovered in the last little while. As a (newish) Diabetic I always get excited when I find some treats that feel like indulgences. The two I have listed below have helped me with my cravings in the last few days (read: I have been craving cookies, lots and lots of cookies). They taste delicious, and if you care, they don't raise your blood sugar like other things (read: cookies)-I took a little bit of insulin last night with my treat and went to bed with a 5.8 reading. Nothing to feel guilty about! :)

Unsweetened Almond Milk-my new found love. No carbs in it people, no carbs!

Amy's Almond-Vanilla dream:
1 cup unsweetened Almond milk (I use Earth's Own-the unsweetened part is what makes it extra healthy, as some of the flavored varieties have almost double the sugar that regular milk has)
1/2 tsp. pure Vanilla extract
1/2 tsp of the sweetener of your choice (I used Splenda)

Mix all ingredients in a microwave friendly mug-zap it for a minute. Enjoy! It's like a vanilla latte without the espresso...because who can have caffeine after 2 pm? Not me!

A misshaped truffle for your viewing pleasure. I'm a Diabetic, not a food writer :)

 Amy's Chocolate Coconut Truffles
1 cup of Almonds, ground (or any nut of your choice. Pecans are good too)
30 pitted dates (you can buy them in the bulk section of your grocery store)
1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
1 scoop of protein powder (I used Vanilla New Zealand Whey-I think this makes the huge difference with blood sugar, adding protein helps to slow digestion and avoid blood sugar spikes)
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1/3 cup unsweetened coconut

Soak dates in water for 20 minutes to soften. Drain water but save 1 TBSP. Place dates in a food processor or blender. Add the ground nuts and combine. Add in all other ingredients except coconut. Mix well. With your hands, roll a small amount of mixture to form balls. Place coconut on a plate and roll each ball in coconut to coat the outside. Place each ball on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Place in the fridge to set for 20 minutes. Store in the fridge in a airtight container. My recipe made 7 balls but you could make them smaller to have more of them. If you make 7 they contain approximately 200 calories and 9 grams of Carbs per 1 truffle serving. Delicious!

This is soooooo true! Even more so the older you get.

Children teach you patience, selflessness and how to get up freakin' early!

Morning blood sugar: 4.3 (I indulged in a rum and diet coke last night for a Friday night treat- sometimes when I have alcohol the night before, I end up a bit low in the morning)

Episodes of low blood sugar today : none (it's currently 8:45 am)
C's mood today: Good. He suddenly has a runny nose...again (sigh!)...coughing, snotty, but happy.

Workout this morning: 55 minutes of cardio- 10 minute warm up on our elliptical, 45 minutes run on our treadmill. Yes, we basically have a '24 hour fitness' location in our basement!

Clean eating today: breakfast was a bagel thin (as the name sounds, a super thin bagel with about half the carbohydrate factor of a full bagel) with 1 tsp natural PB, egg whites with a bit of hot sauce, and a Christmas orange. About 40 grams of carbohydrate total. My girlfriend once asked me how I know how much carbs are in different foods. The short answer is I read a lot of labels and memorize a lot of packages. For example off the top of my head I know there is 25 g carbs in a bagel thin, 16 g carbs in 12 rice crackers, 15 g carbs in 1/3 of a cup of old fashioned oats. Fruit is a bit of a guessing game depending on size- I wagered my orange had about 15 g carbs in it this morning- we'll see later if I am right based on my blood sugar reading later this morning. All you needed to know and more about carbohydrates, right? Well when it is truly a matter of being healthy and feeling well it becomes very important! 

Yes, I've posted a photo of my breakfast, and you love it!

 

 

 

Another sweaty Saturday! 55 min workout done before 8am-Thanks C for the wake up call.

It is dark and extremely cold outside (for Vancouver Island anyways). I am tucked snugly into bed with my dog and husband snoring next to me. I hear a door knob rattle, and a little person clicking a door shut down the hall. I roll over and look at the clock. 5:38 am. I can't help it and let out a moderately loud, "UGH!" It's Saturday morning and my son is awake. It is not enough that I spent half the night listening to him cough (side note: kids can hack and cough IN THEIR SLEEP, and will remain asleep even though their parents lie awake down the hall, thinking of ways they could help them feel better. Second note: it is possible to feel physical pain when you listen to someone sound uncomfortable all night-when my son has a cough (which is usually like 4-5 times a year) I get a tightness in my chest, and I feel it is more difficult to breathe. The cause is likely my own anxiety and neuroses-but I like to think it is my "connection" with my own flesh and blood, he was a part of my body for nine months after all!)

Jeff tries the old "C, it is too early. Let's get you back in bed." To which C answers, with his favorite 2 year old term "No." Jeff counters with "Do you want to get into bed with me?" To which C answers "Yes". It goes without saying, Jeff and I are perfectly ok with this under the circumstances. Read "The Books" all you like about what to do, and what not to do; Sometimes 'in the moment' as a parent you do what needs to be done, one reason being for pure survival, the second reason being so that you don't lose your s$%t first thing on a Saturday morning. Not a good way to start your day, ever and best to be avoided.

The co-sleeping thing goes well for all of about 5 minutes.  After the 5th episode of C coughing in Jeff's face, Jeff has had enough and gets up to get ready for his day (ie. workout, shower, etc.) C and I stay in bed for another 10 minutes when C decides he is ready to face the day as well. So I do what any good parent does on a cold December morning at 5:50am (Parenting Police-skip over this part, or you might have a coronary!) -I plunk C in front of the TV with a blanket, a glass of water, and I return to bed for a 20 minute power nap. Once you have been up at 5:30, 6:30am feels like a glorious sleep in!

The bright side here? I am up, dressed, showered, and have completed a workout and it is not even 9:30am. One thing about getting up so early-there is that much more day to enjoy. Here is to hoping my day involves a nice long afternoon nap.....with some ear plugs. Love you C!

Sweaty Saturday

Hello! I have been MIA as of late. Where have I been you ask? My answer: life. Life has taken over. Between working 4-5 days a week, my workouts, motherhood duties, and trying to maintain a non-disgusting house, it has left me little time for writing.

I am enjoying a long weekend and all I can say is yay! For the last few weeks I have been working 5 days a week with Wednesdays and Sundays off. If you work a regular Monday - Friday job don't underestimate how precious those two days off in a row are!THEY ARE PRECIOUS!

I have never minded daylight savings in the past, but this year it has taken on a diabolical image for me. This due to the fact that my son has been totally messed up by this time change. His wake up times this week ranged from 3:30 am -5:50am. This was also totally messed by the cold he ( and I ) have been fighting. Mama is tired- and so is C-bear. Hence why I am back from a 5 km with him and he is sleeping while I write this! Like the good old days when I use to walk miles with him just to get him to have a nap!

Feels good to sweat. And let me tell you pushing a 32 pounder while dragging a beagle ( attached to my waist) is no easy workout! In fact I think I need some carbs pronto- hoping for no low blood sugar today- that battle continues, but I will save that rant for another day! Hope everyone is having a good Sweaty Saturday! I'm off to the spa with my Mom for a facial- my birthday present! Woot, woot. 

Yes, the dog couldn't stop sniffing long enough for me to get a good shot- those darn Beagles and their noses!

Sniff, my baby is growing up.

Morning blood sugar: 6.8 -tried to make a healthy nighttime snack choice last night and chose a homemade no bake banana coconut protein bar. I love them, they have no sugar, but apparently not a great choice for blood sugar. I've noticed if I eat celery with peanut butter at night, my blood sugar in the morning is fantastic. If I'm craving some more carbs at night my blood sugar tends to be a bit high the next morning. Sometimes a girl needs carbs, right? I didn't exactly eat a piece of chocolate cake! Ugh, this disease.

Episodes of low blood sugar today: none. Felt ill at one point but it was a false alarm. :)

C's mood today: no tantrums so far! Remains very argumentative and opinionated... What do I expect, this is MY son!

Clean eating today: Breakfast was PB&J oatmeal- combine 1/3 cup old fashioned oats with 4 egg whites (I know, stay with me, it's good), microwave in increments, stopping to stir every 20-30 seconds until cooked. Add 1tsp PB, 4 chopped strawberries, some milk and a packet of Splenda. Yum! Recipe courtesy of Sarah Gilks of Nanaimo's Core Essentials.

Workout this morning: ' Jump Start' workout with Fit To The Core Fall Challenge. This a fitness challenge I joined, it is run online by a Nanaimo couple, David and Sarah Gilks. They provide workouts  and nutrition advice for 12 weeks. This is week 2- good, tough workouts. Can't believe how much muscle I have lost since my diagnosis- time to gain it back! Also feeling exhausted from the tough workouts though, hoping this will pass.

I have not felt much like writing lately. I have taken on another day of work per week, it has been raining and cold, and having a two year old can be exhausting. Trying to write has felt like another thing on my " I have to do" list- so it has not been appealing to me. Feeling the need to write currently so I thought I would run with it.

The rain has arrived early on the West Coast-so much for a long summer. :(

Over the weekend we went out to visit my parents. They live 40 minutes away, so we packed up mid morning and stayed out there for dinner. A great day of watching football, visiting, and relaxing. C typically naps at my parents. For the first time he managed to climb out of the Playyard we keep at my parents. It was one of those moments that I found super cute as a parent-but had to keep my stern face on. C looked so guilty opening the door to the spare room-I was relieved to see he knew he wasn't suppose to be out of bed. He was good about it-we put him back in the Playyard and I lay down on the spare bed next to him, and within 15 minutes he was asleep (ok, we were both asleep. Did I mention I have been tired?).

The escape artist struck again yesterday afternoon. C was playing his new favorite game of 'testing', this specifically involved whipping me across the face with his favorite teddy (did I mention toddlers are not only exhausting, but at times mean as well? Exhibit A) and it was time for a time out. Initially I asked for an apology, which was not happening. So I took him and put him in his crib. Great 'time out' spot when your child will stay there. Not much of a lesson learned when they simply climb out after two minutes and come back to the living room, where the bad behavior went down in the first place.

Long story short, we converted his crib to a toddler bed today. This was exciting but surprising for me. Surprising because for the first time I had this strong pang of sadness go through me. I was sad because C is getting big. I don't consider myself like other mothers in the sense that I have not had a lot of these pangs along the way. Some women talk about how hard it was to give up breastfeeding-truthfully I was relieved to have my body to myself again, and C and I never looked back. Other women were a little sad when their babies started solids-I was counting the days until it was 'allowed'-my kid was 18 lbs at 2 months-he was starving all the time. I can remember thinking-'how fast can he eat all solid food?' For me, it wasn't happening fast enough.

I look at C these days-opening and closing doors, doing stairs all by himself and a part of me is absolutely amazed and relieved that those days of carrying him everywhere are over. He climbed a 10 foot ladder by himself at the park last week to go down the slide on the other side, and didn't even miss a beat. Long gone are the days when my arms were aching, and I was wishing he knew how to walk.

We are still in a learning curve though. This toddler bed is going to be a new transition. You will see from the picture below-the first nap time with the new bed did no exactly go 'textbook style' as my Type A self had hoped. Oh well, I still had a nap. Which was needed. Here is to growing up, and 'trying' not to look back.

The empty toddler bed-3:00pm

My nap buddies-listening to them snore and the rain outside was extremely comforting! So much for not sharing the bed.

Recounting Race Day-Motherhood makes you tougher, I swear!

Alone in my hotel room after the race-time for a selfie! :)

Morning blood sugar: 6.6 (up again, not bad though. What the heck? Yesterday was 4.9-nothing different in my routine)
Episodes of low blood sugar today: None- I think. Suddenly got very grouchy and impatient while running errands with C. A Starbucks' cappuccino did the trick. If in doubt, get Starbucks. I am not talkin' a Frappuccino though (might as well be called Junkoccino)-I'm talkin' a Tall non-fat variety.
'C's' mood today: Good. Much better than previous in the week I have to say. We have been under some stress in the Taylor household this week, one of the stressors being our son. C has moved at daycare over to the big kids side (3-5 year olds). He is 2 1/2 but the caring workers at the facility felt C was ready to transition. I think with everything that has been going on lately-returning from a fab trip, moving further into the year of being a 2 year old, etc. he is struggling with this transition. Here is a visual: Jeff drops him off at daycare, C is already crying as they are driving to daycare and proceeds to scream when Jeff attempts to leave. Poor Jeff. All parents know that when your kid is suffering, you are suffering times a million. Having your heart ripped out and stomped on almost everyday for a week makes one want to drink quite heavily (don't worry, we haven't gone that route). It has been rough let's just say. Onward and upward, right?
Workout today: Sprints on the Treadmill this morning. Jeff was off to work early so it was me and C. Tried to have a quick, efficient workout. 10 minute warm up, 30 sec, 1min, 90 sec, 2 min sprints with 30 seconds slow pace in between and an 8 minute cool down. Sweaty fun (and hard work!). I think my 2 year old is on to me though-everytime I slowed down he would look over and smile and say "all done?" He was getting impatient apparently. Hoping our peaceful days of working out together are not quickly coming to an end.
Clean Eating Menu: It is my mom's birthday today (Happy Birthday Mom!) and my mom and dad had invited C and I out for lunch with them. As I know that eating out can sometimes lead to not eating the best, I made sure to have a light and healthy breakfast of a French Vanilla Isagenix 
shake.  For lunch I ordered a thin crust individual Tuscan pizza at Boston Pizza (chosen for a C friendly location) which I ate half of-portion control is so important when eating out, Diabetic or not!

So I wanted to make sure and recount my race day. One, because people have been asking about it, and two, I would like to write an entry about it before my 'mom brain' memory makes it fade into oblivion. Newborns permanently fry your brain. I'm serious. True even 2 1/2 years later. Sad but true.

Lookin' fresh at kilometer 6

The night before my race I was fortunate enough to stay at the Team Diabetes hotel. I actually had access to the hotel for 4 nights but only used it for one, as I wanted to be with my family the rest of the time, and not a roommate whom I barely new. Staying there the night before my race was a really good idea for a few reasons-it allowed me to meet other Team D members at the Carbo Load Dinner, it helped me focus on getting a good night sleep (and not worry about my 2 year old), and my stranger of a roommate was kind of a God send, who helped me relax and realize I should have fun and stop worrying.

Shelby, my roommate, was 18 years old, a student of Scandinavian history and was signed up to do the full marathon (!). I don't mean to get all hippy dippy on you but her aura was calm and gentle. She was perfect for my nervous, anxious, Type A self. A few gems from Shelby: "oh, are we suppose to be down in the lobby for a photo? I didn't know. Good thing you are paying attention." "I love Icelandic music. I've downloaded a bunch of songs onto my ipod for the run" (Icelandic music, what? Other than Bjork, I have to say I was out of the loop). And finally, "Oh, you run with a belt? I don't have one of those. When I was training I would just loop back to my house every time I needed water". After training with a bunch who would die without their "high performance gear" this last comment almost killed me, and also struck me as the cutest thing ever! Shelby, a God send.

Team Diabetes-together we raised over $ 420,000.00!

The morning of the race I woke up with this refreshing sense of calm. After days of being a nervous ball of stress, it was like a choppy ocean turning into a smooth piece of glass. I wasn't even worried about the weather-I couldn't control it, so I had to just go with it. This is Icelandic weather for you-before we left they were calling for 5km/h winds, part sun and 12 degree temperatures. When we arrived in Reykjavik 4 days before the race the owner of our rented apartment told us, "they changed the forecast, it is suppose to rain on Saturday", 2 days before the race it was raining with winds gusting up to 45 km/h (I was almost crying thinking about having to run 21.1kms in that). That is what the Gulf Stream does to Reykjavik-makes its' weather highly transient. Thankfully we woke up to cloudy skies, light rain, and light winds. I could live with that.

Another thing that was stressing me was the race start time. 8:30am. Most of you are likely thinking what's wrong with 8:30am? Well if you are a Diabetic and you usually get up at 6:30 am to run, it screws things up for sure. Too late not to eat, to early not to change your insulin delivery. Usually before a long run at home I just have a glass of chocolate milk, set a reduced rate on my pump and go. When you are Diabetic and need to eat something before you exercise you have to lower how much insulin you give yourself. If you test before you run, having not covered all the carbohydrate as usual, you typically end up with a high reading. Which is exactly what happened.  I decided I would have oatmeal, cover half with insulin, and test before we left the hotel room just to make sure everything was ok. 11.7 is what it read. Again, this sense of calm stepped in. 'Nothing you can do Amy, you are about to run over 20 km at a fast race pace, you feel fine. Don't worry about it'. So I left it and went down to meet up with my Teammates.

The hotel was only 2 blocks from the start line. We walked around the corner in misty rain to meet a sea of people standing in front of City Hall. If you have never been to the start line of a race you need to do so. The positive energy was flowing, and you could feel the excitement through the misty rain. Fabulous!

I don't speak Icelandic and this was kind of a blessing at the start line. I typically start to get a bit nervous when you are standing around listening to a race organizer blather on about course rules, and number of participants, and record times. At this race I could not understand a word that was being said! Sweet ignorance!  I stood there in my throw away warm up clothes (these are clothes you wear to stay warm at the start line, with every intention of taking them off and never seeing them again, as you leave them by the side of the road before the gun goes off) shaking my legs out, and simply getting into the zone. And then before I knew it, we had started!(don't worry I understood enough to take my warm up clothes off). :)

The first 6 kms were a blur of people cheering, banging pots and pans on the side of the road and me being herded along with some pretty fast runners. There were some slight downhills in there too, which made everyone go even a bit faster, with all that adrenaline pumping. My race pace was suppose to be 5:40/km- at one point I did a 4:54, oops! A little speedy. Slow down. Robert from Team D came to see me around 4 kms in-he is in phenomenal shape and completes Team D events by running up and down the course path to see how all of us participants are doing. I know! That man is in shape!  He came to see me at the right time, we discussed my time goal and he settled me down a bit.

Before I know it, after some beautiful waterfront running "by the sea" (as Icelanders like to say-they don't often say 'ocean') we are downtown running between some highrise buildings, and I am running over the 10km mat-I check my watch 54:56 (!) holy s#$t, that's the fastest 10 km I have ever run, Diabetic or not. I'm killing this! :) I spend the next 5 kms getting mentally ready for the hill that I know is coming at kilometer 16. I am counting my carbs, and making sure to eat as planned every 20 minutes. 2 Stinger gummies, every 20 minutes or 8 grams of Carbs (with a 50% reduced rate on my pump). By 15 kms my stomach is getting full and I don't want to eat, but know I have to. I've packed an Eshot by Isagenix for this exact moment, before that hill. An Eshot is all natural, has caffeine and some herbs in it with apple and other fruit juice (think 5 hour energy shot but better for you) and definitely gives you some pep when you need it and it packs 8 grams of carbs, just like my other snacks. I choke it down.

Here is the hill. I was worried about it but shouldn't have been as I am up and over it before I know. At the top a woman says something to me in Icelandic. Maybe that helped distract me. I must look Icelandic! She switches to english when I sheepishly tell her I don't understand-she wants to know how far we have gone. I tell her 16km. Now we are in the "second half" of the race. This is when I always start to fade. They say there are 2 parts to a full Marathon-the first 32km and the last 10km because at 32 km is when things start to get 'really hard' (let's face it 42km is a flippin' long way, the whole thing is hard!)-I get what they are saying though because for some reason at 16km things change. Your legs start to feel like concrete, your stomach a bit queasy, and let's face it, you're hurting! And that's when the wind kicks up. Of course, this is Reykjavik.

I turn back onto the road to head back to the finish line. 17km, 18km, now I really want to stop. And guess what, I've got to eat again (dammit stomach, just fit in a few more chews!). The rain is pelting me in the face, the wind is whipping a bit-it's only about 10km/h but it feels like 30km/h. I hate to write this but to eat my last 2 chews I walk for 30 seconds. It's either that or cramp up-so I do it, reluctantly. I tell myself "keep going! There is no tomorrow!" "Pick me up Dennis! I know you're here!" (Dennis is my mom's cousin-we lost him to Cancer a few years ago. He was the life of the party. A man who loved life, loved family, and L-O-V-E-D being an Icelander. Some of his ashes were spread by his brothers in Tjornin Pond in the center of Reykjavik-a pond I ran passed during the first km of the race- I knew part of him was there with me!). I start running-for Dennis, and for myself. 

I pass a water station, pick up a glass of water, drink two sips and splash the rest in my face. I'm wet already from the rain, but I need to wake up! It's time to tough this one out. Let's go. The road is straight and (thank goodness) flat. I start to hear a few cheers from up ahead. 19km. It's Jeff, I can hear my husband cheering! I can see them, Jeff crouched with C, pointing me out on the road. And there is my Mom in her red raincoat-all bundled up. Thank goodness they're here!!! I fight the tears welling up in my eyes. They yell, take pictures and I have never been so happy to see them. A smile creeps onto my face. C doesn't see me, he is still looking down the road. He is so cute! Look at that face! I yell with all I can muster"I love you C!"  He turns to see me, finally. He is so handsome. I keep running. For Jeff, for C, for my Mom and for me. 2 kms left-that's like 10 minutes, I can do 10 minutes.

I take my earbuds out as I turn the corner, the fences are set up along the street now, towards the finish line. There is a band playing on a stage set up on my right, and I actually listen to them for a few minutes as I run. I can see the clock-damn it has a 2 in front of it, I really wanted it to say 1. 1 hour and blah blah minutes......shoot. I'm just a little too late.  I sprint to the finish, see a photographer and give him the best 'I just ran the best race of my life smile'. In the race program it said "make sure to look up and smile for the photographer at the finish line", so I do just that. My mom later says to me "I can't believe you were smiling after all that". I told her "how could I not smile?! I just ran the best race I have ever run after 8 months of hard training and 13 months after being diagnosed with an incurable disease." That is a hell of a lot to smile about! Oh, and did I mention the $6, 530.00 raised for the Canadian Diabetes Association? Right, still smiling here.

Official time 2:02:07. Fastest pre-motherhood time- 2:07, first half as a Diabetic-2:15. Moms and Diabetics do it faster, apparently. Yep, still smiling!