Mind Games

Morning blood sugar: 5.4 a little low considering I preset my pump overnight for my run this morning-I guess I took too much insulin with my evening snack.

Episodes of low blood sugar today: none, it is 8:50 in the morning. Quite proud to say I started my run at 5.4 and finished at 5.3, pretty darn steady blood sugar!

C's mood today: love, love, love! Coming home to his smiling face and "Mommy" when I opened the door to come in after my run- I left when he was still sleeping. Nothing makes you forget your frustrations like a toddlers enthusiasm for life! :)

Workout today: just finished one soggy 23 km- Long slow distance run (ie. your pace is actually slower than your race pace to make your body adapt to long periods of time on your feet.

Clean eating today: i dreamt of what I would eat for breakfast for a good portion of the run- 1 piece of squirrelly bread with natural PB, 2 medium cooked eggs, half a grapefruit and huge cup of HOT coffee, yum! 

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

23km in the rain this morning. It wasn't suppose to rain but it rained the whole time. All 2 hours and 33 minutes. Thankfully just as I was starting the rain was a light drizzle- when I first woke up the rain was so heavy you could hear it on the roof. I thought about staying home  and leaving it to tomorrow, but on Vancouver Island, in March, there is no guarantee that tomorrow will be any less rainy. 

So what got me thru? A few things....

The feeling of disappointment if I didn't get it done: almost nothing outweighs the guilt (at least for me) of missing a scheduled workout. My body and my mind may feel a moment of relief when you give into your excuses, but that feeling of "I should have..." later= so not worth it!

Podcasts from iTunes: where would I be without podcasts?I listened to an hour and 20 minutes worth of inspirational podcasts  . Topics included 'getting organized', 'building relationships with others' and 'creating solid business relationships'- sounds a bit frou-frou I know but it really is good stuff and makes the time go faster when you are soaked and a little cold.

Music: into hour 2 I started listening to my playlist from Iceland. Some gems include Starships by Nicki Minaj (say what you want about her, she has some great songs to run to, and she swears with me while I am tackling he hills of Nanaimo!), Survivor by Christina Aguilera ( see blog entry entitled 'Happy Anniversary' from July 2013 for the story behind this song :)

Focusing on the mental strength today has given me: I am not gonna lie last night I was grumpy, tired and not looking forward to today. This training has been such a time commitment that I am starting to feel drained, but yet oh so close to race day. So instead of focusing on how mad I was about the rain, I focused my attention on the strength that it takes to get out in today's conditions. Marathon training has such a mental component to it; if today hasn't made me stronger, I don't know what will!

This is what 2 1/2 hours in the rain looks like. 

Wonder Woman was soggy too- but still smiling!

Turning 3 and 32 at 32

Morning blood sugar: 4.9
Episodes of low blood sugar today: none! I had a scare after lunch-I went to put on some 'nap time pants' so I could lay down with C for a quick rest and somehow accidentally dislodged my pod-cannula and all! Boo. So I had to change it immediately. Luckily it must have just come out because my blood sugar was still within range at 6.7. Phew! Could have been worse (if my pump gets dislodged my blood sugar can go sky high quite quickly as I only use fast acting insulin...so that's what I mean by 'could have been worse!') :)
C's mood today: He is 3 today! Can you believe it? I can't. What a lovely boy. I keep telling him "Happy Birthday!" and he keeps saying back "Yes! Happy Birthday you!" Doesn't quite get the concept I guess...but he has been wonderful all day. I don't know how Jeff and I got so lucky but C is one great kid! C is.....
      Sociable: he attends a small home-run daycare, the wonderful woman that runs it usually has 6-7 kids at a time, 2 of them being her own children. Two of the little girls that attend with C are super cute, and the three of them all love playing together. Last week I dropped C off-when we knocked on the door I could hear Lisa (who helps at the daycare when the owner has an appointment, etc.) say "Maybe it's C?!" to the two little girls. She opens the door and we hear the little girls chanting C's name. Lisa turns to me and says "C is kind of the mayor around here" Ha! My little politician/charmer. :)
     Loving: I love his spontaneous "Mommy I love you's" and "I need a smooch." Today I had some of my wonderful neighbors and their kids over for a play date-C knelt over to smooch my neighbors 2 month old. My heart melted. What a lovie!
     Brave: or tough, not sure how to describe it. I am pretty sure he fell off a stool this morning onto the tiled kitchen floor and just picked himself up like nothing happened. If he hurts himself, he usually just needs a quick smooch and he is off again. Thankfully and rarely does he scream if he hurts himself-at least in my eyes, he is one brave little dude.

I use to roll my eyes when people would tell me "enjoy every moment!". This was often said in the first year when I was busy trying to survive with no sleep and struggling to find my 'mothering identity'. I didn't get what they were saying at the time, and often found myself thinking "are these people really that out of touch? They liked sleeping in 2 hour increments and having a screaming infant while grocery shopping? You gotta be kidding me?" But lately, there ARE more enjoyable moments than not. I am not saying that there are no stand offs about eating vegetables or getting out the door on time (because believe me, there are LOTS of those), but C has become his own little person and I love him. I enjoy him!

Happy Birthday my love!

Three years ago-hard to believe. So much has changed...

32 at 32
A quick note about my (never ending) training. I did yet another distance this past weekend that I had never done before. I completed 32km. If you are wondering, this took me a whopping 3 hours and 40 minutes to compete-I think I did quite well at following my pace time, and even when I encountered my 85th hill (Nanaimo is one freakin' hilly city! So 85 might be an exaggeration....)I didn't feel defeated when I gave in and walked a little bit. I was so done with pushing myself up hills.

I think I made it to 28km before I had to walk a little-one time to eat (again), I was out of breath and didn't want to choke on my fig newton, and one time on hill 85. In all, I think I had to walk a total of about 6 minutes. Considering I ran almost 4 hours, that is really not too bad. But really, 32km is an insane distance. I am not sure at this stage, because anyone that has run a race and crossed a finish line knows that that finish line can be hugely addictive-but for now I think this full marathon gig might just be a one time shot. Is it empowering to go distances that I have never done before? Absolutely. Does it hurt to push that far? Yes, indeed. Is it a huge time commitment when you are a mother, work 4 days a week, and run a household? Uh-huh. Did I ever think I would run 32km as a Type 1 Diabetic at 32 years of age? No way. It is an amazing accomplishment none the less. Time will tell if I will ever want to this again. For now, I am savoring having accomplished that distance. Until this coming weekend anyway-a 'short' 23km is on the schedule. Wow, has my frame of reference changed already! Here is hoping I can stay healthy and make it to that finish line. :)

The last finish line-man, that feeling is addictive!

10 days down, a few more to go!

Morning blood sugar: 6.6 (no worries, it was up on purpose. I learned last week about having a preset on my pump for mornings I will be up early to work out. I want my insulin stream to be reduced about an hour before I exercise-so my pump was set to go down 1 hour before wake up. It worked well, I was up a bit but not up too high, just perfect!)
Episodes of low blood sugar today: None :)
C's mood today: That kid is full of energy. At 6:30pm Jeff and I counted him running laps around the living room-he completed 27 laps-mostly running full tilt. If you have never seen an almost 3 year old huffing and puffing and a little sweaty it is a must. Hilarious! And thank goodness he liked this game of us sitting and watching, as both Jeff and I had seriously run out of steam by this time of day.
Clean Eating today: I had an Isagenix shake for breakfast with a piece of sunflower toast, a salad with a hard boiled egg and whole grain crackers for lunch, and veggie chili for dinner (lots of beans, ground round, celery, mushrooms, tomatoes, spices-yum!)
Workout today: I'm not going to lie-I was tired this morning and was rushed to do an 8km tempo on the treadmill before work. The good news is, I completed a solid 35 minutes on the treadmill-not so good news, didn't exactly hit the distance I was suppose to. Hey, maybe that is what my body needed today?!

Just say no! For a few more days anyways. But who's counting?

It has been 10 days since I have had a glass of wine. Or any alcohol for that matter. After that anxiety-ridden, sleepless Saturday night of the dreaded Daylight Savings weekend, I made a pact with Jeff to rid alcohol from my system for 40 days. I really enjoy a glass (or two) of wine here and there, and really believe that I don't have a problem with alcohol. At the most, during a more stressful week, I would usually have 1 glass/night about 3 days per week and probably another 4 drinks over the weekend. Not a little, but not a lot. But I hate to admit it, I think it makes me sleep poorly, when I have to run the next day no amount of fluids can quench my incessant thirst, and because of the above two factors I am usually grumpy. Not a good combination for me or anyone that has to spend time with me.
I have been lucky so far though, it has been relatively easy. Easy because I have not had any social outings to go to, or family dinners. It will be tougher in the next week or so because I will be venturing out more, not because I need to drink, but simply because having a drink is a socially relaxing thing to do.
This weekend I have a few get outings planned so I am really hoping that I can stick to my guns and ride it out. I am sure I can say no, but the difficult part is not envying the people I am with for imbibing. Of course I want the people I am with to have a good time, and by no means do I want them to feel judged because I have decided to take this challenge; I am not judging at all. But you know how it is, it is tough to watch someone enjoy something, when you would kinda, sorta like to enjoy the same thing as well. If you don't know what I mean, ask a Diabetic, they'll know. In fact we are kind of experts in that department! ;p

Daylight savings drain

Morning blood sugar: 5.2
Episodes of low blood sugar today: None
C's mood today: We had such a great day! Wednesdays are my days as 'full time mom'- we went over this morning to meet the new baby on the block; my beautiful friend and neighbor had a baby boy February 1st and yes, it took me this long to get over for a visit. C was fab-he played quietly with toys while we had a nice visit with babe, mom, and a few other of my fabulous neighbors. The sun was shining this afternoon so we were out playing with the boys across the street. We are so lucky to live in such a great neighborhood, with so many kids! A couple of blips in the day include a stand off at bath time-C (and I) were tired, and the relentless response of "WHY?" to everything I ask of him. I run out of responses after a while and end up with the 'I never thought I would say this' "because I said so" I am officially a cliche! :)
Clean eating today: My husband was home all afternoon (yay!) due to a new and exciting change in his professional life (more on this some other time) and he made an awesome dinner of grilled snapper with lemon, quinoa, asparagus, and pickles ( I know, the pickles are kinda funny, but they are sooooo good and C loves them!)
Workout today: 10 km on the treadmill -this one was hard fought as I was out last night doing hills with a local running club and my legs felt oh so tired this morning, but I got it done! I was lucky enough to be asked to speak at my local Running Room last night on injury prevention-I had a great time speaking to a group of about 10 ladies that are training for their first 10km, a great and friendly group.

Is anyone else feeling this time change? I feel that I am still adjusting. The time change did not start well for me, I had the WORST sleep Saturday night. It was part getting over the last bit of a cold, part overly tired, part anxiety about the long run I had to miss Saturday due to torrential rain, and was, for whatever reason just dreading the next day. Oh, and maybe the 3 glasses of wine I consumed (1 at lunchtime with my parents and 2 with dinner)? All of the above lead to a 4 hour sleep and a feeling of utter exhaustion in the morning.
Thank goodness for husbands that say the right thing at the right time. As I woke and frantically tried to figure out how I was going to fit in 29km on a Sunday in a state of exhaustion, Jeff told me that "I didn't have to do it", that "missing 1 long run was not going to make our break my training", and that a training program is simply a "suggestion" and not the be all and end all. Thank goodness for his words because they convinced me to take the day off and simply rest. My body was screaming for a day off and I am better for it. Even though it was screaming, my mind obviously wasn't listening; sometimes it takes someone who knows you well to point out the obvious. Love you Jeff!

Who needs Hagen Daz?

Morning blood sugar: 4.9

Episodes of low blood sugar today: I should hope none (!) I just woke up

C's mood today: he is still sleeping but so far maybe a little grumpy (?). I set my alarm early so that I could have some quiet time to myself before the rest of the house is up (I swear if you have never done this, you should try it. It's hard to get up but glorious to have a quiet moment to yourself- particularly if you are a mom, and a mom to a non-stop toddler!). There is NO WAY he heard my alarm (I wake up to a vibrating and gently ringing iPhone) but after I turned my alarm off, C started crying. I went to see if he was ok and was promptly told "Go Back To Your Bed!!" Well then. Love him, but sometimes I wonder why he gets mad at me for making sure he is ok :) Stage of development I guess (?).

Clean Eating Today: does a preworkout Fig Newton, glass of 1% milk and half an Isagenix E shot count? Likely not. I struggle with pre workout snacks as I need some fast acting sugar to raise my blood sugar, but also don't want too much protein or fibre to upset my stomach so I usually end up eating something white. Not the greatest....

Workout: about to get changed to do an interval/hill workout on the treadmill- aiming to do 7 intervals with a 2 km warmup and 2 km cool down.

I have been nursing a cold for the past few days and last night finally started to feel better. I know it was a cold and not the flu (thank goodness) as my blood sugars did not go sky high in the last few days. My energy was LOW on Wednesday, the days I stay home with C. Thank goodness for a toddler who naps! Mom napped too, for hours. 

Does anyone else crave bad food when they aren't feeling well? I do, for sure. I was dreaming of ice cream to soothe my sore throat, so I came up with the following concoction:

Amy's Diabetic Ice Cream

1/2 a banana (fairly ripe, not green, but not black)

1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk

1scoop Isagenix chocolate shake mix ( or protein powder, if you don't have shake mix)

Directions: mix ingredients together in a blender and place in freezer for 1-2 hours. Enjoy!

Delicious-it soothed my sore throat and didn't leave me feeling guilty or sick! Yay! Who needs Hagen Daz?

A couple of new obsessions

Morning blood sugar: 9.8 (Horrible fasting blood sugar level, I know. I woke in the middle of the night feeling extremely hungry. I was half asleep at 1:30 am, but knew I should probably get up and eat something-I am not going to lie, my girlfriend came over for dinner last night and we indulged in some wine. If I have a few drinks, I can typically end up low in the morning, or sometimes in the middle of the night.  I was feeling annoyed and lazy in the wee morning hours so proceeded to drink a glass of chocolate milk AND not test my blood sugar. Not the best choice...and I see this now with my morning reading)
Episodes of low blood sugar today: 1 (here is the nature of the beast with my disease-because I was a 9.8 this morning, I took a correction dose of insulin. I reduced the correction calculation so I wouldn't go low while I did an hour of yoga this morning. Well, I guess my reduced correction was still too much insulin as by the time I was making my way up the stairs after yoga I was seeing spots and feeling uncoordinated. I even had trouble chewing my gummy candies due to my lack of coordination-but I managed it. Proceeded to feel lousy for a while after too, ugh)
C's Mood today: He is currently being lovely. This morning was a different story-he was 'sassing' like crazy. Example: Me: "C" would you like some water?" C: "I SAID! I wanted JUICE!!!"
Geez! Sassafrass indeed! We are trying our best to keep him in check and let him know that 'sassing' is not a very pleasant way to act-a work in progress.
Clean eating today: Just finished a fantastic power smoothie-with spinach and raspberries (see recipe below)
Workout today: 60 minutes of Power Yoga with Rodney Yee  A great workout but challenging (wine 'heavy head' and all). Due to the weather turning not so great the last 2 days, I made sure to schedule my long run  (19km) on Friday. Thank goodness I did, it is cold and rainy today-not the kind of weather I want to run 19km in!

Phew! So tired these days. What day is it? Where am I? The days are flying and I often feel like there are not enough hours in the day. It has been almost a month since I have written (a month! Where has the time gone!) With frenzied days like this, one of my top priorities is to keep up with clean eating-it keeps me as energized as possible. When I eat right I sleep better, and when I sleep better I can still manage to get all of my workouts in. It is always wonderful when I find recipes that are healthy, taste delicious, and in some way feel (almost) dessert-like. I wanted to share 2 of my new favs lately:

Perfect Overnight Oats
Ingredients:
  1/3 cup oats
 1/2-3/4 cup unsweetened almond milk
 1 tbsp plain greek yogurt
 1/2  mashed banana
  2 tsp chia seeds
 1 tsp. natural peanut butter
  1 scoop of vanilla or chocolate protein powder
  cinnamon
Directions- Mix it all up at nighttime and let it soak overnight! In the morning you end up with delicious rich oatmeal that you can eat cold or warm up quickly in the microwave (I usually nuke mine for 40 seconds and then add a splash of almond milk and a handful of blueberries)  You can change up with recipe with your favorite fruits, protein powders, etc! I got the basis of this recipe from Moon Fitness another blog site-she is a fitness competitor (which is a whole other level of clean eating/working out) and has some great ideas for clean eating. She has a GREAT overnight oats recipe using an almost empty jar of nut butter

Power Smoothie
3/4 unsweetened almond milk (as you can see, I use a lot of this, no carbs Mom, no carbs!)
large handful of fresh spinach
1/2 cup frozen raspberries
1 tbsp. hemp hearts
1 scoop of vanilla protein powder ( I use Kaizen Whey-no additives, no GMOs!)
1 tbsp plain greek yogurt
Directions: mix it all up in the blender and enjoy!

Hope you enjoy these as much as I do-and sorry if they don't really feel like dessert to you. My concept of dessert these days is very much skewed. But hey, if this recovering sweet tooth can be reformed, than believe me, so can anyone! :)

A chilly one!

Morning blood sugar: 4.8

Episodes of low blood sugar: one yesterday but none today! Did you know that a tall none fat Starbucks cappuccino has 9 grams of carbs and a tall non fat latte has 15? I ordered a cappuccino yesterday when I normally order a latte- I think this is where I faltered yesterday- a 3.8 just before lunch :(

C's mood today: pretty good, I am not going to lie there has been some sass, a manageable amount. He basically had gold fish crackers for lunch as he refused to eat the delicious homemade soup my Mom made (yes! Homemade and he wouldn't eat it! I was mildly embarrassed as his mom, and he slid down slightly in the 'perfect grandchild'department, but hey what can you do?!)

Clean eating today: one of my fav breakfasts- 1/3 cup old fashioned oats, scoop of chocolate protein powder, a handful of raspberries, a tsp of PB and a splash almond milk with a sprinkle of Splenda. Yum, I want more!

Workout today: 19 km completed at 9:30 am in Qualicum Beach, where my parents are lucky enough to live. It was so nice to "sleep in" until 6:25am this morning. No 4:50 am wake up for me!

It is "cold" outside lately. I preface the cold with "quotations" as my Prairie kin and friends will likely have a good chortle when I tell them the low today is -6 degrees C. Haha, chortle it up. As a Prairie girl turned West Coaster I can tell you wholeheartedly that it's a "damp cold" which is a real thing. When my in -laws come to visit in the summer they make comments like " oh, it doesn't feel like 22 degrees, it feels colder". I'm not sure if this stems from the Prairie folks need to be mildly insulting to us who now live in Canada's version of 'paradise'or whether they truly feel "cold"when the thermometer reads 22 degrees, but I can tell you in the winter time, from my perspective,sometimes -6 really does feel more like -10 or -12. It's real, let me tell you.

So considering the above, I have to say I was dreading today's long run. But I'm going to use another phrase that us Prairie folk live and die by- "yes it's cold, but at least it is sunny!" This is absolutely how I felt today while finishing my 19 km- the sun was shining, the ocean was gorgeous and it was definitely a day that I was pinching myself. I still can't believe sometimes that I live out here! 

A special thank you to my parents for babysitting the loves of my life ( son and dog) and to the Songza app on my phone for an amazing playlist (Paula Abdul, whaaaat?! Amazing!). Honourable mention also to the Fig Newtons that powered me through ( I am trying something new with my 'during the run' nutrition as the sugar in fuzzy peaches and other chews have been upsetting the tumtum).

Layering! Top layer....

Zipper is stuck- 2nd layer

There it is!

Third layer! 

4th layer! C is admiring the sweaty mess that is his mother!

Happy to report the Fig Newtons worked- home with a 5.4, probably could have had another cookie!

The view from kilometre 9- had to stop for a photo. So beautiful! Eat your heart out Prairie folk- you are welcome to visit anytime! Xo