Trying to be nice

Morning blood sugar: 4.6
Episodes of low blood sugar today: none, thank you very much :)
C's mood today: good! I still can't believe we managed to go to Starbucks, buy coffee, go to the library and return books, pick out new books, and walk back to the car without a hint of a tantrum. I even drank my latte while C played with a few toys in the library. Mom nirvana!
Workout today: Tempo run-6km on the treadmill, 5 of which were basically torture, but hey I showed up.
Clean eating today: Making marinara sauce from scratch. The cookbook I have been using has been great-a loaner from the library geared toward parents. Although, not too sure about this recipe being "parent friendly''. According to the author, this recipe is from her husband's grandmother (born in Sicily in 1902) so it's gotta be good, but it also says "simmer for 2 1/2 hours and stir frequently. Gram stirred this every 10 minutes" Hella what? I will certainly not be stirring this every 10 minutes, hoping that is not a key to the sauce being good, or I'm in trouble. Hang on, gotta go stir....it smells wicked anyways, and considering it has 6 cloves of garlic in it (yes, 6!) I'm hoping it tastes as good as it smells.

I'm tired today! I had one of those wake ups (at 6:45am) when you think that the noises you hear from your child are only in your dreams, and that you can continue to sleep. Truthfully it felt like 2am when I woke up, not a very decent almost 7. I brought C back to bed with me-he likes to hide under the covers of our bed, and he played a bit (ok, I was jumped on a few times) while I let myself wake up slowly. I guess running 16km Sunday may have gotten to me a little bit (who woulda thought?) and I perhaps am still recovering.

As most parents know, when you are tired your mind can do cruel things to you. I dragged myself onto the treadmill this morning, as it was certainly Jeff's turn to go out for a run. I made it through my 6km tempo run-yes, I didn't really enjoy it at all, but once in a while you have those days where you really just need to grit your teeth and do the workout on your schedule even though you don't want to. I cursed myself a little for not quite hitting my pace ( I was close). I had a shower in a 'not clean to my standard' bathroom and proceeded to eat somewhat moldy bread for breakfast (not realizing it was moldy until I was digging in to my second slice).

A few hours after waking up I had already been bombarded with negative self-talk. Why didn't I feel rested? Why didn't I hit my pace? Why wasn't the dishwasher turned on last night? Why wasn't the bread fresh and not moldy? "Enough!" I told myself, "it is time to be nice." So I did what many mothers do to keep their sanity-I packed up my son, dropped the dog off for a doggie playdate at the neighbor's and I got the heck out of my 'messy for my standards' house.

I don't know why I have such a hard time being nice to myself. It is something I have always struggled with and has now gotten a little worse being a mother, a diabetic, and a runner. But I am trying my best to turn over a new leaf. First step-have a nap! The dishwasher needs to be emptied, and the toilet is still dirty but they can wait, I'm tired! One more stir and off to bed. :) It's the 'nice' thing to do.

Celebrating a (small) victory tonight!

Morning blood sugar: 4.9
Episodes of low blood sugar today: 1 (3.7 at 3:00 pm)
"C's" mood today: Tired! But mostly nice. Was told he pushed a few kids at daycare today :(
Clean eating today: Homemade egg Mcmuffin with 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce for breakfast, leftover Grilled Eggplant Parmesan for lunch, and Cheesy Beans and Rice for dinner-the trifecta! :)
Workout today: Track workout with my running club-15 minute warm up, 2x400m, 2x800m, 2x400m, and 15 minute cool down.
Donations this week: 3 donations from my wonderful co-workers :)

I feel happy tonight! Hence why I am writing. It has been a tough 10 days, busy with lots of adult responsibilities, and life's ups and downs, and the ups and downs of a (fairly) new diabetic of course. Tonight I came home after my track workout to celebrate a win over Diabetes. My celebration included a good stretch,  a great chat with my husband, and a much earned glass (ok, a couple glasses) of wine.

I completed a track workout tonight-it involves doing laps at a certain speed (split times) to help train your body to run faster and endure some added stress. This is all in hopes that the stress you endure now will help you endure the stress you put on yourself during the half marathon that I am training for. I had a great workout-I hit all of my split times, I felt good (ok, not the whole time, there were times when my legs felt like jell-o and my lungs felt like they were bleeding) and the best part is I didn't have any lows! Yippee! In fact I managed to eat a small dinner at 4:30 pm, reduced my insulin with my meal, got to the track and tested a 5.7 when I got there. At first I thought, "ooo, a bit lower than I hoped" but then I thought, don't worry, eat some Stinger gummies (3= 12 g of carbs) and go! My victory was punctuated when I returned to my car, and before driving home I tested a 5.5-excellent! That's right Diabetes, a big F-U to you. I can still do a track workout and have normal blood sugars and I don't even need a functioning pancreas-doin it without you!

This was a big victory for me as previously when I have done speed work I have ended up feeling lousy, with low blood sugar and all.  But not tonight, tonight was all mine. It is so nice when things work out, and you do everything you think you should and end up where you want to be. The key tonight was consuming way more carbohydrate than I thought necessary to keep my sugars where they should be. I calculated that during my workout (including those pre-workout gummies) I consumed 42 grams of carbohydrate-this was in the form of 8 Stinger gummies and half of a raspberry flavor gel ( I won't mention the brand of this gel as I thought it tasted disgusting, like eating jam straight up, but hey the gel was free as this 'not to be named' company was the sponsor of tonight's workout). 42 grams (for those that don't know) is the equivalent of 4 thin slices of whole grain bread-so nothing to scoff at.

I'm celebrating this victory tonight because there are other times when things do not go well, or as planned. In fact earlier in the week I was suppose to do a nice and steady 6 km which ended with me walking the last 2km and consuming my emergency stash of gummies, as at kilometer 3 I started to see spots. The run had not really gone well at all as I had decided to take my beagle, Lizzie with me. She can be a great workout buddy but not that day-I felt like I dragged her out for the first 3km. I was later told by my husband that he had taken her out for a run that morning. Poor dog! She was like "not this again! I'm tired" And here I thought she was just being difficult.

Other lows this week included being awarded (by myself, of course) the worst mother of the year award for accidentally tripping my son on my neighbor's driveway. C was chasing a ball and I stuck my foot out to stop it. I missed the ball and tripped him, and he landed on his face on the driveway, ending up with his first shiner. The award was further emphasized a mere hour later when C decided he wanted to climb down from his booster chair at the dinner table by himself and proceeded to fall sideways from the chair onto his head. Did I mention we have hardwood floors? Awesome mothering skills, I know. Nothing worse than your child being hurt-like someone ripping your heart out and stomping on it.

But again, the downs of this week have all been wiped away by my fabulous night. I'm exhausted but supremely satisfied with this victory and I am going to enjoy it! Now I am going to fall into bed and dream about more victories-they will keep me going through all the ups and downs to come. Good night!

Victory wine of choice tonight

 

Busy body

Morning blood sugar: 5.1 -right on target ;)
Episodes of Low blood sugar today: none to date, teetering on the edge with a few 4.1s
"C's" mood today: I'm going to do a big 'sigh' here :) I have been doing some deep breathing today, summoning some patience for this 'I'm going to play devil's advocate' toddler by the name of C. I ask if he wants yogurt, he says 'yes', I get the yogurt and attempt to hand it to him, he swats the yogurt out of my hand onto the floor. Repeat this scenario with books, water cups, clothing, etc. :) Just smile and enjoy this phase Amy, right?
Clean eating today: Found this amazing cookbook at the library this week called "Parents need to eat too" www.parentsneedtoeattoo.com Wish I had had this on hand about two years ago when I was 9 months pregnant with C-you live, you learn. Cooking ideas as the author, Debbie Koenig says, "nap-friendly recipes, one handed meals, and time-saving tricks for new parents" or parents of an almost-2 year old!
Workout today: 12 wonderful kilometers of solitude this morning in the Vancouver Island sunshine- I was back home by 9am. Fantastic.

It is gorgeous here today. 12 degrees and sunny. This following 3 days of dark gray skies and torrential rain-ok maybe not torrential, but the kind of rain that soaks you in 10 minutes. Not the kind of weather you can get out and enjoy. Not like today; today is beautiful.

What is it about sunshine that makes me want to accomplish 10 million things at once. I want to scrub my house and air it out, I want to blog, I want to get some fundraising things ready, I want to try new recipes, I want to go outside with my son. I want, I want, I want. Deep breath Amy! Maybe you should go have a nap! Yes, that is probably what I should do. I have been fighting a scratchy throat and congested chest for what seems like 2 weeks. But something about the sunshine makes me want to check stuff off my to-do list.

I'm gearing up for a very busy week. I have appointments to attend-1 will hopefully accomplish the goal of getting started on my insulin pump (scheduled for Wednesday-we will see how things go). I'm excited but nervous at the same time. I wanted to make sure and have some good workouts this weekend because Margaret, the nurse at the Diabetic Education Center, has told me that for the first week of being on the pump I will have to avoid exercise so that we can get my basal rate of insulin sorted out (ie.the small amount of insulin the pump will be feeding me continuously). Apparently exercise complicates things a little too much to try and figure things out to begin with (who new? :).

So for an exercise junkie like myself (not to mention I am in the middle of a training program!) I am going to try and make the most of my exercise-free week. Jeff and I have a mortgage appointment Thursday (Yawn! But something a responsible adult cannot escape); I will try my best to avoid that "eyes glazed over stare" my face assumes when people start to talk about financing and investments-thank goodness for my husband, he loves that stuff.  Friday I have an appointment with my co-worker Lana-she is an acupuncturist. After a year of talking about it,  I am going to let her get her hands on me-should be great, am looking forward to it (for those of you that don't know, I treat with acupuncture as part of my physiotherapy practice. It can do amazing things, and really works for me. For some, the results aren't as outstanding. But let me just say there is a reason why this form of treatment has existed for thousands of years!).

Now hopefully I can get started on some more fundraising things as well this week, ideally today. I have some ideas, but just need to put pen to paper (so to speak). I am $2,495.00 away from my goal of $6,500.00- and $1,995.00 away from the minimum requirement of $6,100.00 to make it to Iceland. Daunting, I know. But when I look at the fact that I have to date managed to raise $4,105.00- I am more than 2/3rds of the way there. Amazing! Still can't believe where I am at!

But having said that, I am going to follow my son's lead and have a nap! This other stuff can wait. At least for an hour. :)

Hello sunshine!